COMMUNICATION: How To Flirt, Start Conversations And Keep Them Going? In Depth Guide to Approaching, Flirting and Dating | Page 78

PART II : CONVERSATION
Making Conversation: A Skill, Not an Art
Do cocktail parties strike terror in your heart? If so, you are
not alone. Although the ability to converse with others comes
naturally to some, it is a skill that most of us must develop.
Many women don’t realize that effective conversation has
little to do with what you know, but everything to do with
how you present yourself. The 19th century French novelist
Guy de Maupassant said it best:
“Conversation … is the art of never appearing a bore, of
knowing how to say everything interestingly, to entertain
with no matter what, to be charming with nothing at all.”
The ability to converse well with others is not some elusive
thing, obtainable only by a chosen few. With a little elbow
grease, even shy women can learn to feel comfortable
speaking with anyone, about anything. Here’s my tried and
true formula:
− Take a personal inventory.
Make a list of your personal strengths and accomplishments.
Keep this with you at all times, and add to it. Review it
regularly, but especially before entering social situations that usually cause you discomfort. This will
remind you that you do have much to offer.

−

Ask a friend. Request honest input from a trusted friend. How does she think you come across
in social situations? What does she think you do well? How could you converse more effectively
with others? Better yet, ask a couple of confidantes
for their assessment of you.

−

Now you are ready to make a Self-Development
list. Chances are good that one or more of the
following steps will address your weak areas:

−

Speak less and listen more. People love to
speak about themselves. In social situations, be
sure to ask others about their interests, work,
opinions, etc. This will take the focus off of you. A
side benefit of this approach is that you will
invariably be viewed as a great conversationalist,
even though you’ve said little or nothing!

−

Develop your sense of humor. Take note
of the things that make you laugh. Pay attention to
what others find humorous. You don’t have to be
particularly quick-witted or a great storyteller in
order to make others laugh. In fact, some of the
funniest (and safest) material is that which is selfdeprecating. As a side benefit this approach lets
your listener know that you don’t take yourself too
seriously.