Collin County Living Well Magazine July/August 2018 | Page 35

WHOSE JOB
IS IT, ANYWAY?
By Rick Allen
I
am becoming more and more sup-
portive of the concept of cutting
out the middle man. Often this can
make a product or service more af-
fordable. It also seems like we are
getting less and less service from ser-
vice providers these days, so you won-
der just what are we paying for when
a third party is involved?
Here in the Dallas/Ft. Worth area, there
is a television commercial for an insur-
ance agent who takes great pride in
being a “middle-man.” He claims that
in his case, as a middle man, he can
save you time, money, and get you the
best value for your money spent. I have
used this agent in the past and I will
attest that as a middle man, he does a
great job delivering what he promises.
Funeral homes, however, have done
a pretty poor job in recent times iden-
tifying their value to consumers and
a trend has begun that cuts them out
of funeral services because some of
the public view them as unnecessary
middle men. The Texas Funeral Service
Commission has published a brochure
in which the subject of do-it-yourself fu-
nerals is discussed. While it is not rec-
ommended, it is actually possible for
a family to bury their own, completely
on their own.
Self-sufficiency is not a bad idea, but
where funerals are concerned, a grow-
ing number of people are confusing
self-sufficiency with getting something
for nothing. The bad part about this
is, the entity being asked to provide
something for nothing is not the funeral
home, but rather the place where peo-
ple go to church. Several people have
told me that when they die they want
to just be buried or cremated, and
then if their family wants a service,
they can work it out with their church.
I have yet to hear of a church refus-
ing to do this directly with a family,
but when you get right down to what
is right and what isn’t, is it really the
responsibility of the church to act as
funeral directors?
In my opinion, taking this article is ac-
tually a denial of reality. One reason
people claim to have a lack of inter-
est in their own service is the concept
that “I’m not going to be there or know
anything about it anyway.” I, too,
believe this is true, but what about
your spouse, your children, siblings,
friends, or maybe even your parent
or parents? How are they going to
find an appropriate way in which to
accept the fact that a death has oc-
curred, and how will they be able to
say good-bye?
The Frank Capra film, It’s a Wonder-
ful Life, beautifully illustrates how one
man failed to recognize the manner in
which his life impacted so many oth-
ers. Little did the character of George
Bailey realize how his actions, no mat-
ter how small or insignificant to him,
endeared him to so many others in
very powerful ways. It’s far easier to
assume that no one cares or that you
yourself don’t care than to face the fact
that you will be missed and people
will want to honor you when your time
here is done.
Putting this responsibility on the door-
step of your church is an easy way
around a tough subject, but a far
cry from the appropriate thing to do.
Our funeral home has been asked
on many occasions to come in and
put together the loose ends. At other
times we simply hear the tales from
church volunteers of how unstructured
things seemed when the funeral home
was not involved in a service. Things
get overlooked in the planning stage
and unfortunately are discovered ab-
sent when it’s too late. Other things
that could have made a huge impact
on the service as a whole are left out
completely because no one knew they
could be done. Simply put, a good fu-
neral director and a thorough funeral
home staff are worth every penny you
may pay to them. They plan memorial
tributes every day, and those that are
really worth something are constantly
searching for ways to innovate and
contemporize the way people say
good-bye.
Does value exist at all funeral homes?
No. That is why I encou