college connection
PROFESSIONALISM
FIVE FUNDAMENTALS OF CIVILITY: BE RESPONSIBLE
The Spring 2016 issue of College Connection provided an introduction to“ The Five Fundamentals of Civility for Physicians,” a series of articles that examines the impact of incivility to a profession and strategies to foster civil behaviour. This article, written by Dr. Michael Kaufmann, is the last one in the series and focuses on being responsible for yourself as well as your workplace and the profession. who chooses not to react in any way is a bystander. That form of silence adds to the problem. Remember, incivility involves at least two individuals who need help: the one whose behaviour is objectionable and the other who is suffering the impact. But“ stepping up” is often difficult, especially when considering how to approach the colleague whose behaviour is problematic.
Perhaps the best way to bring this phase of the conversation to a close is to circle back to the starting point of this series, and reflect again upon some concepts captured by the various definitions of civility.
Civility begins with a fundamental courtesy based upon respect— for ourselves as well as others. Naturally, if we are to make civil behavioural choices, conscious effort based upon self-awareness and effective communication skills is required.
Even in the face of conflict and disagreement, civility leaves us feeling intact and safe. Civility empowers us to take responsibility for our own well-being which enables us to do and be our best under all conditions. Individually and collectively, we bear responsibility to inject civility into our professional relationships, communities and culture.
Being Responsible For Ourselves
The way we treat people matters— always and in any situation. For that we are responsible. Extraordinary accomplishment and exemplary behaviour in some circumstances does not permit or forgive belittling, shaming, or any other such treatment of colleagues, co-workers, learners or clients at other times. I have interviewed many amazing doctors, veterinarians and learners who dismiss their incivility by pointing out their achievements— as if these have the power to negate their transgressions.
Our primary mission can also obscure personal responsibility.“ I do what I do in the name of quality patient care,” justifying
troubling behaviour, oblivious to the paradox. When others on the team feel the hurtful impact of a veterinarian’ s incivility, they aren’ t able to work well with that individual. Patient care can be compromised as a result.
Even more likely to deflect introspection and personal responsibility is the often irresistible urge to blame contextual elements for one’ s behavioural choices. Most veterinarians I have interviewed regarding behavioural concerns point toward people, places and things around them which have caused their problems. Certainly, context matters. Of course there are a myriad of tensions, troubling circumstances, leadership challenges, personality conflicts, even outright injustice that bear down upon us and affect behaviour. Some of those things we can influence, quickly or slowly, but most we can’ t.
But, recognizing our internal locus of control, we can take responsibility for our own choices, and civil choices are the ones most likely to have a positive impact on everything and everyone around us.
Being Responsible For Others
Even considering a medical tradition of rugged individualism, there are times when we are“ our brothers’ keepers.” Sometimes there are witnesses when a veterinarian behaves in a manner that is disruptive or hurtful toward others. Maybe we have seen an instance of incivility ourselves. What then? Should we say something? Do something? An observer to an episode of incivility
Petruska Clarkson, author of The Bystander, talks about the“ bystanding slogans” that readily come into our thoughts. These are the ones that can block a helpful response. Here are a few of them:
•“ It’ s none of my business.”
•“ Someone else will take care of this.”
•“ I don’ t want to be hurt myself.”
•“ I don’ t know what to do.”
And there are many more. The responsible thing to do is to become aware of these and counter them with more rational and helpful thoughts. Here are some suggestions:
•“ It is incumbent upon me to help— we are all in this together.”
•“ If I don’ t say something, it’ s likely no one else will and the problem will persist, maybe worsen.”
•“ That person might be suffering in some way and helping them is worth the risk that they might lash out at me.”
Then the next right thing, as John Izzo, author of Stepping Up, says, is to“ do something, anything.”
Armed with a sense of responsibility, a little courage, good timing and some practical advice about how to offer constructive feedback, anyone can approach the individual whose behaviour must be challenged. A simple initial question signals compassion and invites conversation. That question is“ Are you OK?” Many times that opening will be enough to help a colleague voice their concerns and also begin to gain insight into the nature of
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