8
A
ONE
TIME
DEAL
I
sat
on
the
edge
of
the
bed
and
talked
to
her
the
most
honest
I
ever
have.
"You
know
in
a
way,
I
would
like
to
go
back
to
work,
be
with
people
to
a
certain
degree
again
but
if
I
did,
it
would
mean
that
I
had
failed,
all
these
years
since
I
started
writing,
all
the
pain,
the
drinking
the
finding
out
finally
who
I
am
and
the
reasons
why,
knowing
why
I
am
like
I
am,
all
that,
would
just
mean
it
was
for
nothing.
I
am
not
sure
I
can
live
with
that."
She
didn't
say
anything
but
I
guess
nobody
had
ever
talked
to
her
like
that
before
and
I
am
guessing
no
one
ever
will
again.
By
Marc
Carver