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Cold Link Africa Online

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VOL. 39- NO. 6 | OCTOBER 2025

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In a room full of refrigeration experts, where temperatures and humour usually run cold, South Africa’ s Minister of Agriculture, John Steenhuizen, did the unthinkable: he got laughs. Real ones. Not the polite, " please-finishyour-speech " chuckles we’ ve all endured at conferences – actual, from-the-belly laughter.

For a man whose job involves policy, port delays and poultry logistics, Steenhuizen brought the kind of dry, disarming humour that you’ d expect more from a stand-up comic than a Cabinet minister. Then again, when you serve in a Cabinet known more for chaos than competence, honing your comedic timing might be less of a hobby and more of a coping mechanism.

But it was one Oval Office anecdote that really stole the show – and may well have won him‘ funniest man in refrigeration’.

JFK’ S DESK AND TRUMP’ S EGO

As Steenhuizen tells it( and he tells it well – complete with a spot-on Donald Trump impersonation, down to the hand gestures and nasal Queens drawl), he once found himself part of a South African delegation visiting the Oval Office in the White House. Joining him was none other than President Cyril Ramaphosa, who, according to the media,“ famously got roasted by Trump” during the meeting. Steenhuizen, meanwhile, found himself slightly distracted by a certain piece of presidential furniture.

“ I’ ve always admired John F Kennedy,” he said,“ so I saw the desk – the famous

Resolute Desk – and I just had to touch it.” And he did. He reached out and gave JFK’ s historic desk a reverent tap.

Sensing a moment to bond, Steenhuizen told Trump the story and said something along the lines of how amazing it was that Trump used the same desk as JFK – a man many considered the most charismatic and best-looking President in US history.

That’ s when Trump( and here, Steenhuizen slips into character with uncanny accuracy) replied:“ You know, a lotta people say JFK was good-lookin’. A handsome guy. But I think I’ m still up there. Some say, maybe the best. Okay? Maybe the best. Handsome guy. Great hair. Still got it.” The room was already laughing. But it got better. Someone from the audience quipped that Steenhuizen should have shot back:“ Yes, Mr. President … same desk. Very different result.”

THE PIG WITH THE WOODEN LEG

While the above was impromptu, Minister Steenhuizen had earlier begun his address with a classic agricultural joke to‘ warm up’ the audience. He told a story about a politician getting lost in the countryside and encountering a farmer with a pig that had a wooden leg. The politician, intrigued, asked how the pig lost its leg. The farmer described several heroic acts the pig had performed( sorry, we don’ t have space to do justice to all the pregnant-pauses-forcomedic-effect and farmer-banter):

• Saving animals from a burning barn

• Distracting a charging buffalo

• Rescuing the farmer from under a flipped tractor

After each heroic tale, the politician assumed the pig lost its leg in that incident, but the farmer kept saying“ No, no”. Finally, when pressed, the farmer gave his punchline:“ Well, such a special pig shouldn ' t be eaten all at once.”

If the agriculture gig doesn’ t work out, he might just have a future on the comedy circuit – or as a Donald Trump impersonator, should Vegas ever need one with a South African accent.

Not to be outdone, another presenter stood at the podium and emphatically announced:“ An 800kg polar bear!” Glazed eyes woke up and mouths formed“ huh?”, as he delivered the punchline“ If that doesn’ t break the ice, nothing will!”

ZAHEER HOOSEN AND THE SCORCHING TRUTH ABOUT“ HARD WORK”

They say it’ s tough to make digital transformation sound exciting – especially when it involves product inspection protocols and cold chain compliance. But Zaheer Hoosen, regional manager at PPECB, clearly didn’ t get the memo.

Picture this, said Hoosen, setting the scene with an otherwise deadpan grin: it’ s a blistering hot day somewhere in the platteland. The sun is blazing, not a cloud in sight, and the heat is bouncing off the corrugated iron like Satan ' s sauna.

Koos – a stocky take-no-nonsense type with arms like teak and a permanent sunburn – is hard at work at a massive cutting machine, sweat dripping into his eyes. Next to him, under the thin shade of a half-broken umbrella, stands Raj, his longtime assistant

EDITOR’ S COLUMN

– clever, wiry and as skilled at dodging hard labour as he is at fixing anything with a bit of wire and a lot of confidence.

Koos, wiping his brow and clearly contemplating life’ s bigger questions, suddenly calls over:“ Raj! Tell me something, my china... is sex hard work or is it pleasure?”

Raj, ever the philosopher( and knowing this is probably a trick question), strokes his chin and squints into the sun. He thinks deeply, weighing the complexities of human intimacy, labour economics … and Koos’ s management style.

Finally, he responds:“ Eish, meneer … sex must be pleasure. Because if it was hard work – you’ d ask me to do it!”

Cue the room erupting in laughter – not just polite conference laughter, but the real belly-shaking kind that only happens when the joke hits home. CLA

Eamonn