Jeremy Frost
I was informed that Tapper had been found hanging from a set of
swings in the playground of the local park. My cousin was
distraught. Destroyed and devastated she cried her lungs out and
wailed in anguish. She was comforted, joined and surrounded by a
caring crew of close friends.
Tapper was a bright spirit and had a giant smile that was
unbelievably wide. He was always very generous and welcoming to
me and I could always count on him to share with me one of his
Marlboro Reds, a real cigarette; a good meal of tobacco those
Marlboro Reds. It was a sad tragedy and although I felt it and it hurt
and I was in shock, I wasn’t part of the inner circle so to speak, the
close family of friends that had gathered in the living room, the room
that doubled as my current bedroom.
I sat there on the couch watching this incredible community bond
together and share in the grief, comforting one another. I was always
made welcome by this crew, but never in my short time knowing
them, did I feel like I became one of them.
They just were not pretentious enough for me, a tad too genuine
and real, a bunch of down to earth Kiwis, Aussies and South
Africans. I needed to be surrounded by fellow self-obsessed
narcissists at that stage of my life. They were lovely but I didn’t feel
completely comfortable with them, or myself at that time in my
development for that matter.
Donboy, one of the crew and a close friend of my cousins, came
and sat next to me on the couch. He gently began to converse with
me in a settled, caring and well thought out manner,
“Ancella is really cut up. We are probably going to be grieving
and based here all night. Maybe there's gonna be people crashing in
this room for a couple of days and nights. She doesn’t feel
comfortable with you having you, you know, be around all this. Do
you have a friend you can stay with for a while?”
“Yeah”, I nodded. It was a tad strange and awkward me being
there. I did feel a little like an outsider. Death and grief are intimate
events. I smiled, quickly packed together a backpack with a few
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