Coffee Shop Goss Banora Point > Kirra Beach - June 2014 | Page 13
FOCUS ON THE
FAMILY
Connecting With Your Child
To connect with our children, we
must understand their emotions and
experience those emotions with them.
Let’s see how one mother, Sheri, spent
her morning connecting with her 5-yearold son, Nicholas.
7 a.m. — Nicholas wakes up screaming.
Sheri runs to Nicholas and holds him tight.
“You sound scared. What’s wrong?” she
asks. But Nicholas doesn’t respond; he
just cries. Sheri continues to hold him
until he calms down, saying, “Whatever
it is, you’re really sad. I’m here for you.”
Soon, Nicholas stops crying and asks for
breakfast.
What Sheri did right: Sheri acknowledged
Nicholas’s feelings. Instead of telling
Nicholas to stop crying, Sheri labeled
Nicholas’s feeling and allowed him the
chance to express that feeling. Nicholas
sensed that it was okay to be sad and
scared. Nicholas will likely feel free to
express these feelings in the future.
Sheri tells Jacob the same and takes
Nicholas aside. She tells him, “Nicholas,
I know you’re mad. It upsets you when
Jacob pushes you. You need to tell him
not to push because pushing hurts.”
What Sheri did right: Sheri focused on
Nicholas’s negative behavior while
validating his feelings. She connected
with Nicholas by letting him know that it
was okay to experience anger but not
to hurt others.
9 a.m. — Nicholas is watching his favorite
cartoon and has turned up the volume
to an excruciating pitch. He laughs
and dances while the characters sing.
Sheri joins in and dances alongside him.
She hugs him and then goes back to
sweeping the kitchen.
What Sheri did right: Sheri could have
scolded Nicholas for turning up the
television or she could have just ignored
him. Instead, Sheri recognized Nicholas’s
happiness and she joined him in it. This
short interaction strengthens their bond.
Nicholas feels loved and understood.
11 a.m. — Nicholas is playing with a
friend, Jacob. Jacob pushes Nicholas
off his bike, and Nicholas pushes him
back. Sheri steps in and tells Nicholas,
“It’s not okay to hit Jacob. That hurts.”
“But he pushed me first,” says Nicholas.
www.coffeeshop.goss.com.au > BANORA POINT TO KIRRA > JULY 2014
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