Hello everyone! Now you read it, “Ask Randy” has gone on line!! This is a first for me so just hang in there with me. We are going to pull this off together. I am so glad you could join me today! Because today is a special day! I have my very own live column. I can help you with any questions or concerns, just hit me up at [email protected]. [Don't forget the J] Let's get it started. I have my very first ONLINER of the day!
RANDY: Hello my friend, you have contacted “AskRandyJ!”, "IT IS WHAT IT IS & IT DOES WHAT IT DOES!!" How can I be of service to you today?
ONLINER: Hey there Mr. Ask Randy J. This is Bobby Ray from Plain Dealing, LA. I have a situation I’d like to chew the fat over with you, if you don’t mind.
RANDY: "WTF??" "CHEW THE FAT??" WOW!! Yeah you are definitely from "DEEP SOUTH" alright!! We are live! How can I help you today Mr. Bobby Ray?
ONLINER: About ten years ago, me and my ex-girlfriend was going to buy a Double-Wide together. I gave her the money to get it but she ran off with another man and my money. Now, ten years later, she comes back! And a lot of has happened since then. I have changed my life. I go to church every first and third Sunday. And I watch that preacher on the television… that there Joelle O’steen. Now she wants to come back. I’m kind of scared to take her back. What if she does the same thing to me again?
RANDY: I got four words for you there Mr. Bobby Ray, "HELL TO DA NAW!!!!!!" You lucky I am a Christian now because I almost said something more defined!!! Like the saying goes, "Fool me once shame on her, fool me twice shame on dumb ass Bobby Ray!!" (AND YES FOLKS WE CAN SAY ASS ON THE ONLINE MAGAZINE). Well that's what all your kinfolks are going to be saying anyway!! Now Bobby Ray I ain't saying I am no expert with relationships, but I have been around the barn once or twice. I am too a victim of betrayal and dishonesty. Trust me I know it does not feel good to the heart. But there are 3 things you don't let no one mess with. You don't mess with my money. You don't mess with my food & you darn for sure don't mess with my mama! Now Bobby Ray, I know that sometimes woman can have the kind of good stuff that if you throw it up in the air and it turns into sunshine!! Or she got that "red snapper." (and I don't mean the fish either) Believe me I know, I have fell victim once or twice. However if someone just ups and takes (let's just say $10,000.00) from you dawg, you have to learn to stay away from skank women like that.
OLINER: But she keeps begging for my forgiveness and she want to start all over again. From scratch! Now I’m asking you, Mr. Ask Randy, which sure is an unusual name, ‘Ask Randy’! You know, I had this cousin once... His name was Howling Wolf. Some nights, we could hear wolves and coyotes howling at night and my cousin would howl right along with them. But until one day, my grandpa grabbed a shot gun and shot into the darkness. We never heard them wolves again or seen my cousin again. For some strange reason, he just stopped coming around! But anyway, Mr. Randy, what should I do? I suppose to be a Christian n’ all, and the bible says to turn the other cheek or is it; forgive the ones who only forgive you….well something like that. I just don’t know what to do. What would you do Mr. Ask Randy?
RANDY: "WOW BOBBY RAY!!" THE WORD OF THE DAY FOR YOU IS, "CAN WE SAY A.D.H.D.?" You have some serious issues dude!! Before we get off the line remind me to
give you the number of a good friend of mind who is a therapist. She loves to talk and I think she would definitely be interested in talking to you, bruh man!! Well what kind of name is Bobby Ray?? Why is it that country people always have two first names and then become stars on movies like “Chain Saw Massacre”? Anyway we will save that for another show!! Now back to your relationship issues. "LOOK MR. A.T.M., I MEAN MR. BOBBY RAY." I know you are a Christian, and so am I. And yes the bible says turn the other cheek. But son, when she suckered you out of $10,000.00, she slapped your face cheeks & ass cheeks....
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