Coaching World Issue 8: November 2013 | Page 17

I’m trying hard, but it’s not working. I need to get some help—flag someone down or call for a tow truck. her mother and her body. Instead, we can go straight to working with the metaphor in service of a biggerpicture conversation. CLIENT: Indeed, the rest of my conversation with the client who was “in a rut”— and who just happened to be a linear, left-brained thinker—went something like this: COACH: now? OK, what’s happening CLIENT: I’m calling for a tow truck. COACH: Sounds like a good idea. The truck is here. They are pulling my car out. CLIENT: You just said you were in a “rut.” May we try something that might seem kind of weird? It’s meant to open up your thinking and stimulate both the right and left sides of your brain to work together. What do you think? COACH: OK, sure. Sounds interesting. CLIENT: So, take a moment and let yourself fully imagine that rut. What does it look like? That was fast! Let’s pause for a moment and check in: What are you discovering with this metaphor? COACH: I’m realizing that I’ve been making myself crazy and getting frustrated trying to do this alone. It’s time to ask for help. CLIENT: COACH: Well, it’s kind of deep and muddy. I’m really stuck. I keep spinning my wheels trying to get out but instead I just keep getting more and more stuck. CLIENT: Like you are driving a car and you’ve gotten stuck in a rut? COACH: Yes. It feels like I’m caught and can’t get away! CLIENT: As you speak, I’m noticing a nervous feeling. Is that part of it? COACH: Yes. I feel nervous and frustrated. CLIENT: Yeah, I feel it too. (pause) What else are you aware of here? COACH: It’s dark. I keep getting out of the car to look at the rut, and then get back in the car and try to get out. CLIENT: COACH: I’m getting this image of you going back and forth between the car and the rut —over and over again. (pause) What are you finding out? From here, it is easy to shift into brainstorming and creating her plan to move forward; however, it’s important to stay connected with the metaphor so that the ‘rut’ doesn’t just take over. As a homework structure, she might put an image of a tow truck on her computer screen to remind her to ask for help or to check in with the metaphor from time to time. Although this client came to me with a specific set of in-the-moment concerns, tapping into the idea of the rut allowed us to work above and beyond how she was feeling that day. None of the circumstances changed—her husband, her boss, her mother and her body all remained as they were before our conversation—but the way that she was being in relationship to these circumstances shifted entirely. Her anxiety and frustration were diminished, and help was on the way. Charting a Course A recent read-through of some journal entries I made several years ago reinforced for me metaphor’s ability to help us determine next steps. In November 1997, I took on the role of chair for the next year’s ICF Conference. My early journal entries from this time reflect my excitement—as well as my understandable anxiety—over leading up such a significant effort. Then, just two months before the conference, two of my committee chairs stepped down. Cue the panic. Fortunately, I was able to work with my coach to develop a metaphor that reframed the entire situation: “The conference is like a huge ship,” I wrote in my journal. “We’ve been moving quickly for months, but now we are nearing land. As the captain of the ship, it’s important that I slow things down as we move into port so that we don’t hit the rocks, wreck the ship or hurt any passengers.” It was easy for me to translate that metaphor into a plan. I stopped and took time to clarify all of the event details and record them on a master calendar and checklist. I reconnected with my ‘crew,’ making sure that everyone knew their job as we came into port. The panic was gone, my purpose and path were clear, and in that moment, it felt easy. The nautical metaphor had given me a new understanding of the tasks at hand and though my todo list was no shorter, my approach had changed entirely. That’s transformation, and I got there through the power of metaphor. So, go have fun! Keep your ears peeled and let yourself play and explore with your clients! To use another one of my favorite metaphors—that of coaching as panning for precious metals—that’s where the gold is. Check out Ann Betz’s take on the neuroscience of coaching on her blog, “Your Coaching Brain.