I’m trying hard, but
it’s not working. I need to get
some help—flag someone
down or call for a tow truck.
her mother and her body. Instead,
we can go straight to working with
the metaphor in service of a biggerpicture conversation.
CLIENT:
Indeed, the rest of my conversation
with the client who was “in a rut”—
and who just happened to be a
linear, left-brained thinker—went
something like this:
COACH:
now?
OK, what’s happening
CLIENT:
I’m calling for a tow truck.
COACH:
Sounds like a good idea.
The truck is here. They
are pulling my car out.
CLIENT:
You just said you were in
a “rut.” May we try something that
might seem kind of weird? It’s
meant to open up your thinking
and stimulate both the right and
left sides of your brain to work
together. What do you think?
COACH:
OK, sure. Sounds
interesting.
CLIENT:
So, take a moment and
let yourself fully imagine that
rut. What does it look like?
That was fast! Let’s
pause for a moment and check
in: What are you discovering
with this metaphor?
COACH:
I’m realizing that I’ve
been making myself crazy and
getting frustrated trying to do this
alone. It’s time to ask for help.
CLIENT:
COACH:
Well, it’s kind of deep
and muddy. I’m really stuck. I
keep spinning my wheels trying
to get out but instead I just keep
getting more and more stuck.
CLIENT:
Like you are driving a
car and you’ve gotten stuck in
a rut?
COACH:
Yes. It feels like I’m
caught and can’t get away!
CLIENT:
As you speak, I’m
noticing a nervous feeling. Is
that part of it?
COACH:
Yes. I feel nervous
and frustrated.
CLIENT:
Yeah, I feel it too.
(pause) What else are you
aware of here?
COACH:
It’s dark. I keep getting
out of the car to look at the rut,
and then get back in the car
and try to get out.
CLIENT:
COACH: I’m getting this image
of you going back and forth
between the car and the rut
—over and over again. (pause)
What are you finding out?
From here, it is easy to shift into
brainstorming and creating her
plan to move forward; however,
it’s important to stay connected
with the metaphor so that the
‘rut’ doesn’t just take over. As a
homework structure, she might
put an image of a tow truck on her
computer screen to remind her to
ask for help or to check in with the
metaphor from time to time.
Although this client came to me
with a specific set of in-the-moment
concerns, tapping into the idea of
the rut allowed us to work above
and beyond how she was feeling
that day. None of the circumstances
changed—her husband, her
boss, her mother and her body all
remained as they were before our
conversation—but the way that she
was being in relationship to these
circumstances shifted entirely.
Her anxiety and frustration were
diminished, and help was on the way.
Charting a Course
A recent read-through of some
journal entries I made several years
ago reinforced for me metaphor’s
ability to help us determine next
steps. In November 1997, I took
on the role of chair for the next
year’s ICF Conference. My early
journal entries from this time
reflect my excitement—as well as
my understandable anxiety—over
leading up such a significant effort.
Then, just two months before the
conference, two of my committee
chairs stepped down. Cue the
panic. Fortunately, I was able to
work with my coach to develop a
metaphor that reframed the entire
situation: “The conference is like a
huge ship,” I wrote in my journal.
“We’ve been moving quickly for
months, but now we are nearing
land. As the captain of the ship, it’s
important that I slow things down
as we move into port so that we
don’t hit the rocks, wreck the ship
or hurt any passengers.”
It was easy for me to translate that
metaphor into a plan. I stopped
and took time to clarify all of the
event details and record them on
a master calendar and checklist. I
reconnected with my ‘crew,’ making
sure that everyone knew their job
as we came into port. The panic was
gone, my purpose and path were
clear, and in that moment, it felt
easy. The nautical metaphor had
given me a new understanding of
the tasks at hand and though my todo list was no shorter, my approach
had changed entirely. That’s
transformation, and I got there
through the power of metaphor.
So, go have fun! Keep your ears
peeled and let yourself play and
explore with your clients! To
use another one of my favorite
metaphors—that of coaching as
panning for precious metals—that’s
where the gold is.
Check out Ann Betz’s take on the
neuroscience of coaching on her blog,
“Your Coaching Brain.