What does being present have
to do with describing coaching?
I mean, if you are with
someone, we assume that you
are present. When we were in
school and the teacher took
the roll, we answered “present.”
That meant we were there, in
our seat. But, did it mean we
were engaged or involved?
The ICF Core Competencies
describe Coaching Presence
as being able to dance in the
moment, be intuitive, tap into
our knowing and more. Let’s
thing they want to feel is your
presence. You’re not distracted,
you’re not playing solitaire online
while you talk, etc. Now I know
that we—yes, we coaches—would
never do that. That’s why people
want to work with us. But others in
their lives might do those things.
We listen, we ask questions, we
invite our clients to take risks and try
new things. Nowhere in the previous
sentence does it say that we tell
them what to do or even assume
that we always know what they
should do. But if we are not present
with them, we have no clue where to
go next in our conversation.
How many of you “always” know
what to say or do in the moment?
Is that even expected? Do you
beat yourself up when you don’t
know how to respond? I hope not.
Coaches don’t have the answers.
We help the client figure out the
answers and, yes, we sometimes
share what may have worked for
others in a similar situation.
Let’s look at the emotions a bit.
When people come to us it’s
often because they’re unhappy,
To my way of thinking, it is a
privilege to actually be with
someone as they shift and grow.
They deserve us to be who we are
and they deserve us to be present
with them.
“Whatever affects one
direct