Be an active listener and always listen with all senses.
Make the conscious decision to connect with and fully
focus on your client. Give him your undivided and
careful attention. Then, make the effort to listen not
only to the words that he is saying but, much more
importantly, understand and concentrate on the
complete message being said. Pay attention to his body
language, his energy. Don’t be distracted by whatever
else may be going on around you. If you’re finding it
particularly difficult to concentrate on what your client
is saying, try to repeat his words mentally as he says
them; this will help you stay 100-percent focused. It’s
also crucial to demonstrate to your client that you’re
fully present and actively listening by showing both
verbal and nonverbal signs of listening: making positive
reinforcement, maintaining eye contact, nodding your
head, making your posture open, smiling, mirroring, etc.
Last but not least, active listening is also about being
patient. Don’t jump in with questions every time there
is a period of silence. Give your client suitable time to
explore his thoughts, feelings and emotions.
As a Mentor Coach, I am privileged to support many
new and experienced coaches. What I have often
sensed in coaches is the need to perform, which
interferes with their coaching presence and prevents
them from taking the conversation to the next level.
The roots for this need to perform could be incorrect
expectations or ambiguous role definition, the need
to make a positive impression to generate referrals, a
strong “value-add” mindset, addiction to client approval,
incorrect assessment of their own experience and
competency levels while accepting specific clients,
perfectionism, etc.
Jesús
Rodríguez, PCC
Spain
“Give your client suitable
time to explore his thoughts,
feelings and emotions.”
Pragati Gandhi,
PCC
India
A few tips that I would offer them include:
• Acknowledge and accept any of the above that
might exist.
• Remember that coaching is unique in holding the
magnificent view of the client as the expert in her
life. The need to perform is triggered mostly when
you feel the client might get stuck.
“Listen to hear all that is
being said in the stillness of
your mind...”
Nomad_Soul/Shutterstock.com
• Act as if you are interviewing a champion.
• Listen to hear all that is being said in the stillness
of your mind, knowing that doing coaching can be
stressful, while being a coach can be liberating.
Coaching World 37