Praying for the accused
Recently, a pastor was arrested for a sexual abuse charge related to
his employment at two separate churches. The statement released by
the second church urged the congregation to pray for ‘John’ (the alleged
abuser) and his family.
This is an example of an abuser-centric response. Ministry leaders and
others are certainly free to pray for the alleged perpetrator, but DO NOT
urge the victim’s family and the congregation to do so.
Instead, express care for those who have suffered abuse: pray for the
victim and his or her family; pray for others who have been abused or
marginalized — especially by someone in a ministry position.
Providing a character reference
A staff member of a church was arrested for sexual abuse of a child
within the congregation. The parents of the accused abuser were
long-time members. The abuser plead guilty and was scheduled for
sentencing.
The parents of the abuser asked church leaders to provide character
reference letters for him such that he might receive a lighter sentence.
The senior pastor, music minister and administrative pastor agreed; each
sent a reference letter supporting the accused, requesting leniency and
encouraging forgiveness.
The child victim and her family (still members of the church) were
in the courtroom when the letters were read. The family felt outraged,
betrayed, and believed their spiritual leaders chose the abuser over the
abused. They subsequently vented to media representatives present in
the courtroom.
The headline the next day read: Church Leaders Help Abuser Avoid
Punishment. The family left the church, sought legal counsel, and filed
a lawsuit.
A victimized child is harm enough; a child re-victimized by an
abuser-centric response is inexcusable.
As a result, a significant majority of Americans:
(1) Have been victimized as a child;
(2) Are married to someone who was victimized as a child;
(3) Have a child who was victimized; or
(4) Have a family member or loved one who was victimized as a child.
For many, issues involving child sexual abuse will have a strongly
emotional context. Because 2 out of 3 sexually abused children will not
disclose abuse until adulthood (if ever), it is unrealistic to assume ministry
leaders know who has — or has not — suffered abuse in the past.
Instead, leaders must assume that congregants, and the public-at-large,
are processing information from the standpoint of an abused child, or
that of an abused child’s parent, spouse, sibling or close friend.
AVOID THESE PITFALLS
Having provided an overview of various responses, several statements
or actions virtually guarantee a poor result.
‘Innocent until proven guilty’
Never remind your congregation that the accused is ‘innocent
until proven guilty.’ Though you might be correctly quoting a
maxim of our judicial system, this statement has a negative impact
in any abuse situation.
To an abuse victim, ‘innocent until proven guilty’ is interpreted as,
‘You were not abused unless you can prove it.’
Remember: false allegations are rare.
HOW TO ADDRESS HISTORICAL ALLEGATIONS
Historical allegations — those that relate to alleged abuse occurring
years or decades ago — have become common. For reporting purposes,
ministries should treat any historical allegation as if the alleged abuse
occurred today.
If the alleged abuse occurred ‘on your watch’ or the alleged abuser is
a current or former staff member or volunteer, report to the appropriate
authorities. Do not assume that the passage of time makes a report timebarred
or irrelevant; from a public perception standpoint, this looks like
cover-up.
In general, when in doubt ... report.
CREATE A PRE-EXISTING PLAN
Every ministry should have a pre-existing plan to address sexual abuse
allegations. This plan should:
• Be written, known to church leaders, and periodically reviewed.
• Be followed regardless of the identity of the alleged abuser — senior
pastor, VBS face-painter or volunteer. NO ONE should be outside the scope
of the plan.
• Identify each individual’s specific responsibilities, contact information
for critical personnel (insurance agent, carrier, attorney), and location
of critical documents (relevant state reporting law, insurance policies).
• Include clear instructions concerning reporting requirements: to
whom, within what timeframe, and what information to report.
• Require that each individual making a report on behalf of the ministry
request a file number and name of agency representative to be included
in a dated incident report.
• Designate a media or information point person within the ministry,
and a communication tree (phone, email and/or text) to inform key
staff members, lay leaders and ministry stakeholders. The point person
should be someone who can communicate with empathy and care but
resist the impulse to ‘free-form’.
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