The other day, as I was talking to a friend about relationships, I accidentally blurted out that I wouldn’t wish the version of myself from three years ago on anyone. I had never phrased it that crudely before, but after saying it aloud, the words haunted me for days. Because they were so true y’all. I have shared with you before the work that the Lord has been doing in my heart these last few years in the areas of relationships and marriage. Today, I want to build on to that concept of using your single season as a time of preparation for the kind of wife you will someday be.
Better to dwell in the wilderness than with a contentious and angry woman. –Proverbs 21:19
I’m not married, but I see variations of this woman in myself. Like when I complain that my roommate never cleans the bathroom and why do I always have to do it? Or when I continuously point out my sister’s faults. If you keep doing things like that, eventually you become the kind of person who people feel they should walk around extremely carefully as not to set you off for the smallest reason. It’s like a minefield – you’ll never know when an attack will occur. We all have met at least one person that fits that description – maybe a parent, ex-boyfriend, a mean girl from high school, or even the reflection you see in the mirror everyday.
feel they should walk around extremely carefully as not to set you off for the smallest reason. It’s like a minefield – you’ll never know when an attack will occur. We all have met at least one person that fits that description – maybe a parent, ex-boyfriend, a mean girl from high school, or even the reflection you see in the mirror everyday.
For a long time, I didn’t want that to be me. I made excuses. I pretended it was fine, but then I began praying about it. Eventually, like all things, the Lord asked me to put those prayers in practice with my family. To use my words to build people up, instead of pointing out their weaknesses, mistakes, and faults because I know how much that negative persona can become your identity. It’s like a second skin that wraps its toxic and angry self around you until all you can do is lash out at those around you as a way to protect yourself and just keep it all together. You just can’t stop or imagine being anyone else. You think that is who you are meant to be. But that is not who God created you to be.
What Kind Of Wife Will You Be?