2013 SPRING ISSUE | CHOICES 5
“ In the end that was the choice you made, and it doesn’ t matter how hard it was to make it. It matters that you did.”
- Cassandra Clare, City of Glass
STOP IT! Start now to work on your self-discipline, self-reliance, and responsibility. These are the very characteristics which help us achieve. Achievement builds self-esteem. Start now to show more interest in others and help them feel special. The biggest psychological need most people have is to be understood. So start by listening to others. Ask them questions about themselves and their lives. If you want to know how to have better relationships, lose weight, or become financially fit, ask someone who has done it. Listen attentively. Show interest in what they have to say. Lean forward. Comment on what they said before you start telling your own story and talking about yourself.
Stop criticizing yourself. Stop talking about your negative traits. The more you concentrate on them, the more they hang on. Don’ t say things like“ I’ m just not good with money.” Or“ I don’ t understand finances.” What we put our attention to is what multiplies in our lives. Instead of criticizing, look for the things you do know and have accomplished. What are your strengths? Make a list. Place it where you can see it daily. If there is something you don’ t like about yourself and you can change it, then do it. If you can’ t change it, don’ t whine about it. People don’ t want to be around someone who whines and complains. And besides, most of the things you don’ t like about yourself, no one else has ever noticed until you brought it to their attention.
Confidence comes when we determine we are responsible for ourselves: when we are able to stand on our own two feet, make our own decisions, and deal with the consequences of our own behaviors and choices. Work to be an independent person who does important things. Choose to step out of your comfort zone. Set a goal and make a plan to do something different or bigger. Take a risk and take action.