2013 SPRING ISSUE | CHOICES 5
“ In the end that was the choice you made , and it doesn ’ t matter how hard it was to make it . It matters that you did .”
- Cassandra Clare , City of Glass
STOP IT ! Start now to work on your self-discipline , self-reliance , and responsibility . These are the very characteristics which help us achieve . Achievement builds self-esteem . Start now to show more interest in others and help them feel special . The biggest psychological need most people have is to be understood . So start by listening to others . Ask them questions about themselves and their lives . If you want to know how to have better relationships , lose weight , or become financially fit , ask someone who has done it . Listen attentively . Show interest in what they have to say . Lean forward . Comment on what they said before you start telling your own story and talking about yourself .
Stop criticizing yourself . Stop talking about your negative traits . The more you concentrate on them , the more they hang on . Don ’ t say things like “ I ’ m just not good with money .” Or “ I don ’ t understand finances .” What we put our attention to is what multiplies in our lives . Instead of criticizing , look for the things you do know and have accomplished . What are your strengths ? Make a list . Place it where you can see it daily . If there is something you don ’ t like about yourself and you can change it , then do it . If you can ’ t change it , don ’ t whine about it . People don ’ t want to be around someone who whines and complains . And besides , most of the things you don ’ t like about yourself , no one else has ever noticed until you brought it to their attention .
Confidence comes when we determine we are responsible for ourselves : when we are able to stand on our own two feet , make our own decisions , and deal with the consequences of our own behaviors and choices . Work to be an independent person who does important things . Choose to step out of your comfort zone . Set a goal and make a plan to do something different or bigger . Take a risk and take action .