The Charlotte Jewish News- September 2026- Page 27
From the Bimah
The Gift of Getting It Wrong
By Rabbi Chanoch Oppenheim
Years ago, sociologist Charles Bosk conducted a set of interviews with young doctors who had either resigned or been fired from neurosurgery training programs. He wanted to understand what separated the very best neurosurgeons from those who struggled. It wasn’ t simply intelligence, test scores, or technical skills, it was how they responded when something went wrong.
When asked,“ What’ s the biggest mistake you’ ve ever made?” residents who replied,“ I haven’ t really made one,” or blamed poor outcomes on factors beyond their control, were invariably the weakest candidates. By contrast, the strongest candidates readily admitted their mistakes, often recounting a recent example and what they had learned from it. In other words, they had learned to turn setbacks into valuable feedback.
This very idea lies at the heart of Yom Kippur, a day many people view as Judaism’ s annual day of guilt. We look back over the past year, list everything we did wrong, feel bad about it, ask God for forgiveness, and promise to do better. But teshuvah, usually translated as repentance, asks something much deeper. It asks us not only to regret our mistakes, but to leverage them.
Rabbi Joseph B. Soloveitchik observed a fundamental truth: The past cannot be changed. Once you throw a rock, you can’ t call it back in midair. What happened, happened. Human beings, however, also live in a moral and spiritual world, where the rules are different. Although we cannot undo something we said 10 years ago or erase a poor decision, which resulted in a failed relationship or missed opportunity, we can determine what happens next. A failure that once represented our weakness can become the very experience that teaches us how to live differently.
Abraham was the first one to teach the world about ethical monotheism even though he grew surrounded by idolatry and spent years searching for truth. We might view those early years as wasted time, but they became part of his greatness. He understood the beliefs of the world around him and was able to challenge them. His past gave him the tools to become a teacher to others. What could have been a
May Truth Sprout Forth
By Rabbi Yossi Groner One of the underlying principles of a functioning and cooperative society is trust. It is not merely an admirable value but the very foundation of a healthy society. Trust is built through truth and transparency. We trust liability grew to become an asset.
Rabbi Abraham Isaac Kook takes this idea a step further, teaching that when we examine our failures, we should look for the good hidden within them. Sometimes a mistake is driven by something positive that was misdirected such as a desire to help, to succeed, to be loved, to belong, or to make a difference. The goal is not to excuse the wrongdoing but to identify the positive impulse beneath it and redirect it toward something constructive.
Imagine someone who repeatedly finds themselves in unhealthy relationships. They may conclude,“ I’ m terrible at relationships.” But with honest reflection, they might recognize a pattern, perhaps they are drawn to people they believe they can rescue. Their desire to help others is not the problem. Rather, they need to learn that healthy relationships cannot be built on rescue alone. By examining the past with honesty rather than regret, they can better understand both their strengths and their vulnerabilities.
Or consider someone who has struggled professionally and gradually comes to see themself as a failure. Yet, upon reflection, they may recognize their setbacks stem not from a lack of ability but from taking on too much, avoiding difficult conversations or striving for perfection. Those tendencies may have grown out of admirable qualities: ambition, responsibility or a deep desire to help others. The goal is not to deny the failures but to understand what they reveal. By learning to channel those same strengths more wisely, the past becomes a source of growth rather than a verdict on their future.
Teshuvah asks them to look more carefully. Why do they keep struggling? What patterns do they see? What needs to change? At the same time, the fact that they continue trying may reveal something positive. They want to contribute, be productive, or support themselves and their family. The challenge now is to build on those strengths while honestly confronting what has been getting in the way.
We can do this in almost any area of life. With parenting, friendships, marriage, work, or our relationship with God. Instead of asking,“ Why am I such others when their outward actions are a true reflection of their inner character.
The same principle extends beyond personal relationships. When a society is transparent and true to its core values, it earns the confidence of its people. Truth and transparency are the keystones that hold a society together. The beauty of truth is that it stands on its own. It does not come in layers or competing versions.
Unfortunately, we live in a time when the notion of truth has become increasingly elusive. Objective truth is too often eclipsed by subjective interpretations and half-truths. When truth is distorted, it breeds confusion, erodes trust and can lead to dangerous consequences.
This problem has magnified in our time with the popularity of social media and the internet. The very technological invention that was designed to unite people all over the world now serves as a conduit for dark and unforgiving misinformation, which spreads in a massive way to millions of people daily.
Many of us are surprised and shocked by the way antisemitism has taken hold with lightning speed throughout Europe and elsewhere around the world. This has led to devastating attacks against the Jewish community in Europe, Australia and even North America. Coupled with increasingly hostile rhetoric, this has led many Jews to conceal their Jewish identity to avoid harassment and confrontations with hostile mobs or individuals.
Similarly, the growing anti-Israel narrative in many social circles has made open and honest conversations about the complex challenges Israel faces increasingly difficult. Here, too, truth has often been overshadowed by propaganda, leaving history selectively told and important context omitted.
Unfortunately, many within the Jewish community lack a basic understanding of Israel’ s history and the complexities it faces. Without that foundation, it becomes difficult to engage thoughtfully with the issues or form well-informed opinions. As many don’ t have the time to learn the full story, understandably, they feel confused, angry, and lost by what is being spread across numerous media platforms.
To address this, we must first immerse ourselves in our rich, shared history, one that stretches back thousands of years. There are countless opportunities to strengthen our Jewish identity by learning who we are, what Judaism teaches, and how our people have endured and flourished for thousands of years despite extraordinary challenges.
Studying Torah, for example, a failure?” we can ask,“ What does this failure teach me?” Instead of saying,“ Why do I keep doing this?” we can question,“ What am I really looking for, and is there a better way to find it?”
We tend to imagine the ideal life as one without mistakes. Judaism offers a different vision. The goal is not to arrive at Yom Kippur with a spotless record. It is to have the courage to examine it honestly and decide what we are going to do with it. Bosk found the best surgeons were those willing to say,“ I made this mistake and what can I learn from it?”
That may be one of the greatest gifts of teshuvah. We may not be able to change what happened yesterday, but we can change how yesterday influences tomorrow. This Yom Kippur, don’ t just ask yourself,“ Where did I go wrong?” Instead consider the question,“ What will I do with where I went wrong?”
especially with others, opens our eyes and minds to a deeper understanding of Judaism and equips us to share the light of truth with others. Darkness is dispelled by light. As Jewish tradition teaches, just as a little light dispels great darkness, so too wisdom dispels foolishness.
There are many opportunities to deepen our understanding through thoughtful books, lectures, discussion groups and other educational experiences. Seek out sources that present history, Israel and Judaism with accuracy, context and intellectual honesty. In an age when misinformation spreads so easily, a commitment to learning can be a breath of fresh air.
My best wishes for a happy, healthy and meaningful New Year. May it be a year of clarity, peace and an unwavering commitment to truth.