When Someone Is Experiencing Abuse, How We Respond Matters

By Julie Loftis

Domestic violence does not always look the way we imagine it. It may be happening behind the closed door of a neighbor’ s home, affecting a coworker who seems distracted, or touching the life of a friend who has never told another person what is happening. Often, the people around a victim may not recognize the signs, and even the person experiencing the abuse may struggle to identify them.

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month( DVAM), an opportunity to bring this complex issue out of the shadows, increase understanding, and remind our community that everyone has a role to play. First observed nationally in 1981 as a“ Day of Unity,” DVAM has grown into a month dedicated to education, advocacy, support, and prevention.

This year’ s theme,“ With Survivors, Always,” recognizes that supporting someone experiencing domestic violence is not about telling them what to do. Instead, we should focus on listening, respecting their choices, and helping create safe paths to find the necessary support. This theme reflects an important shift in understanding about how to approach domestic violence: survivors are the experts in their own lives, in turn, their experiences and needs must guide the support they receive.

So, what does it mean to“ Be the Difference”?

It can start with something as simple as listening without judgment. If someone shares they are experiencing abuse, it is important to truly hear them. Resist the urge to ask why they are staying, why they aren’ t leaving, or tell them what they should be doing differently. Instead, let them know you are there for them, the abuse is not their fault, and they deserve to be safe. Survivors often face complicated barriers, and leaving an abusive relationship is not always an immediate or straightforward path.

Being the difference can also mean learning to recognize the many forms abuse can take. Domestic violence extends far beyond physical harm to include emotional, sexual, financial and technology-facilitated abuse, as well as controlling behavior. It can involve isolating someone from friends and family, restricting access to finances, monitoring phones or location, threatening children or pets, or repeatedly undermining a person’ s independence.

And sometimes, being the difference means simply staying connected. A text asking,“ How are you doing?” A cup of coffee. An invitation that requires no explanation. A reminder that someone is there to call. For a person experiencing separation and control, these seemingly small gestures can become a lifeline, reinforcing that they are seen, supported and not alone.

At Jewish Family Services of Greater Charlotte( JFS), our community can cultivate a culture where people feel comfortable talking about domestic violence without shame or judgment. Recognizing the problem is only the beginning. Lasting change requires action: educating ourselves, challenging harmful assumptions, supporting survivors, and knowing where to turn for help.

Throughout October, JFS is hosting an information table in the front lobby of The Levine JCC where visitors can learn more about domestic violence, recognize the signs of abuse, and discover the many ways to support survivors. We encourage you to stop by, explore the available resources, and learn how even a small act can make a lasting difference.

Domestic Violence Awareness Month is observed in October, but standing with survivors is a year-round commitment.“ With Survivors, Always” means choosing compassion over judgment, listening rather than making assumptions and supporting rather than remaining silent. Each of us can be the difference. Not by having all the answers, but by ensuring someone knows they do not have to face abuse alone.

Now more than ever, personalized advice matters

The L / A Wealth Management Group

Peter A. Levinson, CRPS ™, CPFA Senior Vice President Senior Financial Advisor

980.282.1770 peter _ levinson @ ml. com

6000 Fairview Road Suite 600 Charlotte, NC 28210

704.705.3332

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Charlotte Jewish News Oct 2026 | Seite 34

Now more than ever, personalized advice matters

When Someone Is Experiencing Abuse, How We Respond Matters

Now more than ever, personalized advice matters

The L / A Wealth Management Group