Our childhood friends, the Issas, eager to imitate us older girls, called you
'Thio Daddy' (Uncle Daddy in Greek, which was the language of our
mothers).
Your name always seemed to elicit controversy. Your siblings called you
'Raymond'. It appears that your father used to read a story to you and your
siblings about 'le petit Raymond' and his exploits. You were the fifth child
and your father's favorite. He nicknamed you Raymond because you were so
much like that story book hero. He died when you were six years old,
leaving behind a 36-year-old widow and eight children, whose ages ranged
from 14 years to 9 months.
You used to tell us about our grandmother, Teta Marie, whose family left
Aleppo sometime in the late 1800s, probably due to the sectarian tensions
that troubled the region. They went to Lebanon, where she was born. The
family moved again, this time to Egypt. I have a faint memory of her as an
affectionate elderly woman with heavy gait. Young as I was, I sensed the
deference with which she was treated by the extended family. Everyone
called her 'Maama,' but that very ordinary word carried a world of feeling.
You spoke little of your mother, but did share some stories about her. They
meant little to me as a child, but they seem so significant now.
You told of her locking your eldest brother out of the house for having come
home beyond his curfew when he was 16. “It was one of the most difficult
things I ever did," she confided in you later. "He stayed outside the door all
night, and I sat on the other side of the door and cried. But I had to show
him that even though I was a woman and alone, I was in charge of raising
him right, and that I could be tough if that is what it took."
When she was widowed she gradually sold all her jewelry; her goal was to
ensure the children got the best education available. Eventually her eldest
son matriculated from the American Mission school and went to work. Each
time a son finished school -she insisted that they go to the American Mission
school regardless of expense- he went to work and contributed to the upkeep
of the family. Teta told my mother how moved she had been when my father
bought her a gold and sapphire ring with his first bonus in 1945. It was the
first piece of jewelry she owned in the 20 years since she had sold the gold
her father had given her as dowry.
Our mother told of Teta Marie's teaching her to cook your favorite dishes and
the best way to handle you. You were meticulous in everything you did, and
she worried your new Greek wife would not understand the Shami ways. The
Shawam, you once told me, were the Lebanese-Syrian community that fled
to Egypt during the sectarian troubles of 1860 and during the first world
war, fearing persecution and famine, and seeking a safe and secure life.
People flocked from all over the Mediterranean to Egypt. Greeks, Italians and
others had settled in Egypt for the opportunities it offered and prosperity it
enjoyed.