Prophet / ess
Jessie Ly nn M c M a i ns
this issue of prophet / ess is gonna be a little different from what you’re used to. no music reviews, no witch
tips, & especially no fucking peo poetry, babes.
you’ve probably heard some shit about me recently. like that i’m crazy, delusional, lying, vindictive. a bitch
& a slut. i’ve been disbelieved & called names my whole life. i was first labeled SLUT in fifth grade, before i’d
even kissed anyone, just cuz i started growing tits early & i didn’t bother to hide it, didn’t cross my ankles &
act ladylike. & then in junior high when people found out about my visions, my tarot cards & tea leaves, they
said i was a freak. that crazy girl. which lasted until i predicted the car crash death of the most popular boy
in high school. then everyone thought i was an evil witch, like i’d hexed him and made it happen. then they
avoided me like a stain, a smell, an unwanted creature. rotten milk girl, rat child.
& y’know, i’ve had boyfriends who told me all my astrology & cartomancy stuff was bullshit. & there have
been people in the scene here who wanted to take me down, who echoed the psycho chick accusations of my
youth, like “oh, the fact that she knew four leaves & a rocket were gonna get their equipment stolen on tour
& then break up, the fact that she knew so-&-so was pregnant, those were just flukes.” so, yeah, i’m used to
being disbelieved.
but this is different. i didn’t want to fucking write this down at all, but i owe it to myself & some other people
to tell my side of the story. so this is what happened; this is how sandra & apollo met and fell in love fuck.
i knew who he was before i’d ever talked to him. i mean, OF COURSE i knew who he was. everyone in this
town knows who he is. legendary frontman of the bishop audition (& knowing what i know now i’m like,
of fucking course he’s the frontman, he has to be the sun & all the other band members are lovely little
flesh&blood moons reflecting his light), only the most legendary indie-punk band to ever come out of this
shitty scene. i knew who he was & i guess he knew who i was, he’d probably been eyeing me for months, years
even, he’s like that, sees a pretty girl & decides he’s gonna have her one day. but i didn’t know that about him
until it was too late.
(OH AND if you are suddenly doubting my prophetic abilities, like why didn’t i know all this shit was gonna
go down if i’m so fucking psychic, well. first of all i can’t control my visions; they come unbidden & some-
times they’re life&death & other times they’re about traffic jams & missed phone calls. & second, i hardly ever
have visions about my own future, & i can’t read the cards or tea leaves for myself, not well anyway—i can see
a complete stranger’s future better than i can see my own.)
so anyway. i was at thee olympus on mod-soul-ska night, it was an excuse to wear my two-tone rude gr-
rrl dress & do my hair up; i drank a few beers & danced with myself (whoa oh oh oh), got sweaty & mas-
cara-streaked, sat down to have another beer & next thing i knew apollo was sitting next to me. & he is fuck-
ing gorgeous, okay, there’s no denying that, he’s got those mudpuppy soul-brown eyes & pillowy lips & that
golden-blonde hair.... so there he was, & he introduced himself & when i said “i’m sandra” he said “oh, i know
9
Cauldron Anthology