by the lakeside
Jen na B urns
we were walking close to the lake edge
too close you’d say, but I always did like to wander.
we saw him drifting there in lazy circles and you made this funny g a s p
and I laughed and said you sounded like a swan yourself
but you weren’t laughing back, you just stared and said it wasn’t funny
“you could break your arm on those wings” you said. You were so serious, your eyes big and round as if you
were worried I’d hear your voice catching.
I said “okay, sweetheart, we’ll move back” and when we held hands I could feel you shaking. You stumbled on
more words as we stepped back together.
“it’s true, it’s true, you could break your arm, you could-could-could-”
“I believe you, darling” because how could I not? Your hand was still shaking in mine. When I looked at you I
almost expected your arm to be in a sling.
And he just kept drifting on as we walked away. His wings unfurled and stretched and he beat the air three
times.
I shivered.
You let go of my hand and
you ran.
When I caught up, you were kneeling by the water. I was scared you’d drink from it. You’d drink and forget
(me).
The swan was looking at you. He drifted closer, no longer in circles. A straight line of intent. The lake was so
still.
“darling, please.” I was shaking you by the shoulder. Please, please.
I thought: he will not come into our world. Then, wildly: and even if he does, we will make it anew. We will
rise from the ashes, love, I promise you.
His eyes were flashing. He wanted to say something, I knew. I raised my hand and struck the lake.
It frightened him. But I barely noticed him flying off because you gasped again, a tremulous, small thing.
Your eyes spilled over and I knelt down beside you because I loved you and you kissed me and I was giddy
with it and could only thrill that you wouldn’t need to drink the water because you were drinking from me-
and the lake was ours.
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Cauldron Anthology