MY FRIEND OFFERS TO READ MY CARDS
Courtney LeBlanc
Previously published by Spider Mirror Journal
and immediately says , Fuck , upon pulling two from the stack . Bad ? I ask , though obviously it is . An obstacle and a path , she replies , laying the cards face up so I can read them . The Firefly is the first card , the obstacle , and it tells me the high-frequency cannot be sustained , that there is Firefly energy behind every poem , that harnessing this energy is vital yet potentially destructive . The next card , the path , is The Hummingbird : the ability to find energy and positivity and return to it every day . We both sit back , thoughts swarming . So what does this mean ? Related to my question ? I ask . She frowns , uncertain of the interpretation . Finally she asks , What do you think ? I pause , moving words around in my mouth , unsure where to begin . I think I write poems about the destruction , to try to keep it at bay , to keep the monster in the closet . I pause , my mouth suddenly dry . And I think I have to find joy that I can have every day . That I ’ m not constantly fighting for . She nods , agreeing .
When she pulled these cards I knew immediately what both the obstacle and the path were . She knows of the broken bones and busted plaster . She knows of the eggshells that line the floors of my home . She doesn ’ t know of the one whose soft words fill my ears , how my fear melts away when I ’ m with him .
I have a lot to think about , I finally say . She nods and reshuffles the deck .
Cauldron Anthology 23