Catalyst Magazine Volume 1 - Page 26

It is also during this time that we are tested regarding our level of commitment to this new way of being because as people, places and things fall away, we must face our fears of abandonment, rejection and seeming failure.

My implosion occurred around Valentine’s Day 2016 when my then husbands “other woman” came forward to tell me about some shenanigans. She wasn’t the first “other woman”, but she is the only one to came to me personally. (And I am incredibly happy to report that she and I are friends to this day.)

I will state that finding out about this affair was an enormous gut check as it came out of the blue.

I thought everything was fabulous at home—we were making more money than we’d made on active duty, I was repairing both our credits, things were amazing. So, this news caused me to fall to my knees physically, emotionally and mentally.

I decided to deal with this by going out and having fun with my female friends. I also knew that I was seriously over the dysfunction in my marriage and that I was open to possibilities to make more money on my own, find a new house for myself and my children, and move on with my life. I wasn’t in a hurry because the income and insurance were nice, but I had a plan and was waiting for some divine guidance as to what my next steps should be.

May 5, 2016 is the day God, the Universe, the Divine, Source—whatever it is that you believe in gave me a sign. That was the day I met Michael Spicer and had a soul level experience that I literally have not been able to put into words.

May 10, 2016 is the day God, the Universe, The Divine, Source—whatever it is that you believe in gave me a crystal-clear sign that my marriage was over, and it was time for me to move on. That was the day my now former husband used a loaded gun to attempt to “scare” and “force” things back to how they had been before. But, here’s the deal—once you up-level inside yourself, you literally cannot go back to how things were before. The very idea of it is painful and nauseating.

June 29, 2016 is the day my divorce was final. It was another sign from God, The Universe, The Divine, Source—whatever it is that you believe in, that it was time to move on from Battling BARE as well. June 29 is the anniversary of the 2012 F’n Boot Smear Campaign that leaked the pictures I’d taken of myself in lingerie and topless to Dave Murphy, who founded “Thank A Soldier” out of Canada. Those pictures were sent to the men who run Military Minds—and when Battling BARE went globally viral June 25, 2012, those men teamed up with F’n Boot for this “smear campaign” because they were jealous that a woman run organization, that they helped to gain publicity, was growing bigger faster than them.

Side note: Those pictures were taken for my now former husband in an attempt to get his attention away from another woman, who happened to be his ex-girlfriend, and back on me. When my former husband didn’t respond to those pictures, I sent them to a man that wasn’t my husband because I was so desperately in need of external validation of my “hotness”, “sexiness” and desirability. I just wanted someone to want me because my then husband didn’t want me—he wanted someone else. I share this because I no longer buy into the idea of judging events as good or bad, right or wrong. More than that, I want women who are in this sort of position to know that they are not alone, and that there are other women out there who understand. Who will listen, guide, help and coach without judgement.

Back to this rebranding story.

As I began to share my journey—to include divorce—on social media, a common thread became apparent. I saw myself in the faces and stories of other women looking for validation, acceptance, understanding and permission to be themselves.

Women who desperately needed someone to tell them that it isn’t selfish to take care of yourself and that is it never too late to create the life of your dreams.

It was during this process I began to see that Battling BARE needed to go away.