That’s it. The answer really is that simple, and the simplicity is what tends to infuriate the miserable masses for two reasons:
1.The simple truth requires us to take responsibility for the emotions we are feeling and where we “live” emotionally—meaning the emotion we feel most often.
2.We are addicted to the over complication of things because it gives us a way out of taking responsibility and allows us a means to cling to the “specialness” we’ve made out of our misery.
I can remember having a conversation with a mentor where I was lamenting about how hard my life had been due to the sheer number of traumatic events that had occurred in my life. Deep down, I wanted attention, pity, someone to come in and rescue me, someone else to fix it for me. My mentor stopped me right smack dab in the middle of this “I’m so special because my life has been such shit” pity party and said, “Ash, so you’ve had a lot of really bad situations in your life, huh?” I nodded, slightly annoyed at the interruption. My mentor followed my nod immediately stating, “So what? So has every other person on the planet. What are you doing to do about it?”
My chest grew tight. My ears grew hot. If I had been a cartoon character, steam would have come out of my ears. I was livid. How DARE anyone, let alone this mentor—who was and still is an internationally recognized success coach—speak to me in this manner! What a HORRIBLE thing to say! Do they not think I’ve TRIED to JUST get over it. I didn’t CHOOSE those events for myself! They happened TO me! I am the VICTIM here! How DARE they!
This is a common reaction. So, if you are feeling that way reading this article, hear me: I GET IT. Embrace the fact that you are feeling right now because resisting feeling your feelings is a large part of why you are “depressed”.
I am not making light of anything either. Emotional pain and mental anguish—that also show up in our lives as physical pain and dis-ease in our body—are VERY real. I just inviting you to look at what you are going through with new eyes and a new perspective.
With that in mind, allow me a moment to pose a few questions:
#1 What if part of what you are dealing with are symptoms of a lack of certain nutrients in your body?
Seriously. What if the lack of energy, brain fog, pain, emotions…what if all of that was your body trying to tell you it needed a certain type of fuel to function well? Or it needed you to STOP consuming a certain type of food to allow it to unclog itself? Would you listen? Think of this another way, would you have sex with dirty lube? No—that is essentially why a car needs new oil. Would you expect a plane to fly if water was put in the fuel tank? No—that is essentially what nutrition does for you body. It gives it fuel to allow it to run—and your body needs you to NOT be concerned with calories and macro nutrients as much as you look at the MICRO nutrients that are essential for proper functioning.
#2 What if part of the reason for what you are experiencing is a call to actually allow the feelings and sensations associated with emotions to move through your body by FEELING them?
The very idea of this can be terrifying. I can remember numbing out, avoiding and refusing to feel emotions for a very long time because I was terrified I would stay stuck “down there” forever…that the sadness would suck me into this black hole of nothingness and I would die. I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to handle the depth and intensity of my pain, anger, shame and hurt. What I couldn’t see was how clogged I was spiritually, emotionally, mentally and even physically because of all the unfelt emotions I’d stuffed inside.
My fears were completely unfounded. What I learned in the process is that feeling the feelings fully is what actually frees you.
#3 What if part of the reason for what you are feeling is God, Spirit, Source, The Universe—whatever it is that you believe in—trying to communicate with you?
Literally calling you to make changes and align with your magnificent purpose here on this plant? (A purpose, I might add, that often REQUIRES us to have to experience these deep, dark times because we are like seeds…we truly only grow when we are plunged into the darkness and must find our way back to the light.)
#4 What if part of the reason for what you are experiencing right now is because you haven’t developed your happiness muscle?