To Honor and Obey:
The Problem with White Weddings.
by alexa bridwell
When we talk about feminism, we often talk about
power; on a macro scale, counting the women who
are CEOs and politicians makes the disparity in
financial and political power obvious, since only
5% of Fortune 500 CEOs and 20% of Congress are
women. However, feminism doesn’t become irrelevant
on the personal level. Issues of inequality are
present in all of our daily lives, including in our
romantic relationships.
While the institution of marriage is often held
up as the romantic ideal, it contains a number of
problematic elements. The ceremony alone relies
on antiquated traditions that seem harmless, but
crumble upon closer inspection. For example, the
tradition of asking for the father of the bride’s
blessing before marriage, as well as the act of
her father “giving her away,” sets up a symbolic
exchange of the bride as property. This is also
present in the historical tradition of a dowry,
which now occurs as the family of the bride paying
for the wedding. Futhermore, the tradition of
a white dress is meant to symbolize a woman’s
virginity, and therefore her purity. A friendly
reminder: women are people, not objects. We are
entitled to agency over our own bodies!
While these traditions may seem trivial on the
surface, they betray societal expectations that
carry over into married life. They reinforce
the notion that a woman’s role is secondary to
that of her male counterpart, which contributes
to problems like employment discrimination
and domestic violence. All in all, kicking a few
antiquated marriage traditions to the curb is a
small step to take towards a truly equal union.