Sixteen
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“ I talked to Nicole and a thought passed through that scared me. We did not use any protection. We preach to our kids about safe sex. We don’ t know who she has been with. I don’ t want to die because we did something stupid. I want us to get tested before we have intercourse again. You made love to me Sunday after making love to Kate,”
Saying those words and thinking them were different. To put voice to what she had encouraged her husband to do, drove home the reality of what part she played. She took the risk and she wondered what price her family would pay. Eddie saw the tears in her eyes and tried to hold her.“ Don’ t touch me!” she hissed. Eddie backed away. Tanya put her face in her hands and sobbed. Eventually, she cried herself to sleep. Eddie could do nothing. The helpless feeling Tanya left him with began to simmer. His anger grew and he laid in bed stewing in his thoughts, staring at the ceiling. The alarm clock was set for 6:00 AM. The last time he glanced at the red numbers it read 3:23. Eddie woke with his heart hammering in his chest. The six, large, dogs were chasing him through the house and up the stairs. He was falling over the railing when he sat upright in bed, holding his chest. Eddie turned off the alarm clock as it began to chime. In this dream he was not afraid, he was angry. The dream faded quickly. His anger lingered and he remembered Tanya’ s harsh words. He dressed quickly and left without saying a word.
Tanya knew him well. The few times Eddie woke up still angry from the night before, had taught her to let him cool down. His anger was a cauldron under which she lit the fire. Stirring that pot proved disastrous. Eddie would come home after he chilled and they could talk. She needed time to sort things out also. Like, how to present this to her doctor. Confronting Kate would not put her mind at ease. And how would she handle bad test results? Sticking her head in the sand was all she wanted to do and pretend it never happened. This was the downside to education. Ignorance was bliss. She felt stupid. Why did smart people make such bad decisions? They showed themselves in the news on a daily basis. From celebrities caught with their pants around their ankles, to politicians with their hands in the till. Intelligent people doing the stupidest shit. How could she possibly give her children good advice. Justin was almost fourteen. Eddie told her he lost his virginity at fourteen and what a mistake he felt that had been. Had he talked to Justin about sex and what did he say?“ Don’ t do like I did, at your age, and stick your dick in some neighbor girl, because you’ ll live to regret that decision.”
Tanya felt like she was going crazy. She had to keep it together. Her family and her students deserved the best she had to offer. She decided to stay focused on the task at hand, whatever that may be. Right now, she needed to get moving.“ Mario. What time do you think you are going to finish?” Eddie asked, as the three man crew arrived.“ I stopped and picked up a couple of new drill bits. Hopefully we will be done by noon. I have another job I was supposed to start this morning,” he said, as his crew was already plugging in equipment. Eddie was exhausted.“ Call me if you get done early,” he said. Mario nodded and went to work. Dozing on the couch and then fixing a cup of instant coffee at least allowed Eddie to feel better physically. Mentally he was still pissed. He arrived at the property as the last pole was being secured and took some pictures. He locked the place and headed back to the apartment. The text he sent Tanya said he would be crashing at Rodney’ s place. Two letters came back.“ OK”
The front had pushed through and the clouds were scattered as Eddie carried the overnight bag toward the stairs to the apartment.“ Eddie, you spending the night?” Taylor asked, from his balcony.