CHAPTER 31 32
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Sam had let down her guard and the words slipped out. Now she had to try to fix what she knew Tanya had not explained to the children.“ This house felt empty. There was no laughter and no joy after my husband passed. Have you noticed how much your parents love each other? They love life even though it certainly has not been easy for either of them,” Sam explained.
There was something missing. Nicole could feel it, but could not put the pieces together.“ I may not be very worldly, so I have to ask. What’ s in it for you?”“ That is a conversation you need to have with your mother. She knows you so much better than I and I am afraid of not being able to explain everything correctly. After you speak with her, come back and talk to me if you still have questions. I promise I will answer anything,” Sam said, putting her arm around Nicole and giving her a little squeeze.
They found the family in the game room. Eddie was kicking Justin’ s butt on the pool table while Tanya watched. Sam pulled Tanya aside and informed her of the conversation she had with Nicole.“ I thought she might notice and not understand, but not voice it so quickly. Thanks for the heads up,” Tanya said, gathering her group and saying goodbye.
The ride home was quiet. Everyone was lost in his or her thoughts. Tanya wished she could be more like Eddie sometimes and march through life just expecting everyone to jump on board. He was oblivious to the icebergs. Tanya knew what waited below the surface. She made talking to Nicole her priority. Eddie was recovering from the adrenaline rush and dozed in the back seat while Nicole glanced continually at her mother from the passenger seat. Justin left his phone at home and wanted to call Ryan as soon as he got there and tell him to be ready to go racing tomorrow.
The garage door rumbled down as Tanya parked the car. Justin nudged Eddie awake. Tanya needed a drink. She fixed two wine coolers after telling Nicole she would meet her in her room in a minute. Nicole took one sip and asked,“ What’ s going on Mom?” Tanya took a big swallow from her tall glass.“ I don’ t know where to start,” she said quietly.“ How about starting with why you let Sam dress like that in front of Daddy and then we can discuss why you let her look at him the way she does,” Nicole said, taking a bigger sip from the glass.“ Sam wants a child,” Tanya dove right in, getting to the heart of the matter.“ Then let her find a husband.”“ She loves your father,” Tanya was in too deep already.“ So you are willing to share Daddy? Why?”“ I love Sam and it’ s not so much I am sharing your father, as your father and I share Sam. I can’ t have another child and she can. But that is not all of it,” Tanya paused to collect her thoughts.“ Mom this is crazy. What does Daddy think about this?”
Tanya opened her purse, pulled out the photograph and handed it to Nicole.“ Do you remember Kate? The tall teacher from the haunted house.” Tanya asked.“ What does she have to do with this?” Nicole was becoming more confused and upset.“ This is your sister Daniella who you will probably never see,” Tanya said, pointing at the photo.“ How old is this picture?”“ A few months.”“ Mom you’ re scaring me. I don’ t understand. Are you telling me you are studding Daddy?” Nicole asked. She took a few swallows of the drink.“ No honey. I’ m trying to tell you, I am attracted to women. I didn’ t find out until I met Kate. There was always something missing but I could never understand exactly what it was. It happened by accident, at least on my part, maybe not on Kate’ s.”“ Are you telling me you want to make love to Sam instead of Daddy?”“ I want both of them equally,” Tanya said, and Nicole up ended her glass. The pieces crashed into place for Nicole.“ What do I tell my friends?” Nicole asked.“ What do I tell my friends if they ask if you are sleeping with Matt?” Tanya asked pointedly.