Connect with other carers: carersuk.org/forum
I knew something
was wrong but I didn’t
know what. Hazel’s driving
wasn’t very good after she
developed cataracts, but
as her sight improved after
treatment, her driving didn’t.
She wasn’t responding and
I suspected her memory
was already going. I kept
thinking: ‘Why is she
doing that?’ That’s when I
suggested we both take a
memory test that our GP
surgery had offered us. She
needed further tests before
they diagnosed her with
Alzheimer’s disease about
two years ago.
Before Hazel’s diagnosis
we were enjoying our
retirement. I’m a minister
and I was ordained when I
was 33 years old. I’ve lived
all over the country and I
met Hazel when I was a
minister in Enfield, London.
I’ve been officially retired
for over twenty years, but
I still do a little bit of work
– as ministers do. I take a
service locally about once
a month and consult on
various things that I’m still
knowledgeable about.
Hazel’s health is pretty
good right now, but I know
it’s going to get much
worse. Her father had
Alzheimer’s but it was only
diagnosed in the post-
mortem, so we both know
what’s to come.
At the moment she can
still be fairly independent.
She can make a nice cup
of coffee, but she can’t
coordinate the cooking. I
make our main meals, but
sometimes she prepares
a few bits on a tray and
I’ll carry it for her. Hazel
also has coeliac disease
and she used to make her
own bread, but she can’t
manage it now and we get
her special bread from the
village bakery. I do most
things around the house
but we have a cleaner who
comes in once a week and
tidies up.
“Hazel’s health is
pretty good right
now, but I know
it’s going to get
much worse”
@carersuk
/carersuk
We play Scrabble every
night – to keep the old
brains going. I also like to
relax with a paintbrush and
I have an allotment, so in
the afternoons I’m out there
with the apple trees and
keeping an eye on our soft
fruit. Hazel doesn’t join me
on the allotment – it’s not
her interest and never has
been. She’s usually fine back
at the house reading.
Hazel likes to do things on
her own, but she doesn’t
always remember where
she’s got to, and can’t find
the way home. We have a
good community and she
always gets helped home by
someone. In that way, I feel
she’s secure in the village.
There are more challenges
to becoming a carer in your
eighties. I’m still recovering
from my own injuries, which
can be difficult. I slipped in
wet weather and broke my
ankle. I hopped around with
9