CARIMAC Times 2016: The JREAM Edition Journalists Reviving Awareness of what Matters | Page 109

eventually secured enough to find his own place,
he barely had enough to buy food on a regular
basis. Work was the only thing that saved him.
“Luckily at the time my manager gave me some
extra lunch tickets to get free meals. So I used to
go to work early in the morning, get breakfast,
lunch, or dinner; depends on however long I
was there. On the days when I wasn’t at work,
it was literally one slice of bread.”
Despite the initial fear, and the subsequent
struggles, Wanliss felt freer than he had been
at home.
“I wasn’t sad, I wasn’t depressed. I felt very
liberated. I felt like I was shackled [before] …
and I started to develop my own sense of ‘me’
now,” he said.
From hope to harder times
When Wanliss’s mother heard of his circumstances,
she sent for her child immediately.
Wanliss moved further away from home to a
land that was strange and cold to him, and a
mother he had not seen since he was about
nine years old. However, England presented
new opportunities for him. He thought about
starting his process to transition and felt it was
time to discuss his identity with his mother.
“It was rocky at first, when I told her about my
transition. She didn’t take it very well. On the
surface she did, but ultimately she found it very
hard to swallow because she felt like, ‘Was it
me? Was it because I left you? Is it my fault?
Did I do something?’, and she wanted to hide
away from family members; not want people
to find out about me.”

Their relationship broke down, and it was then
Wanliss found himself homeless again — this time
in a foreign country he could not understand.
He knew no one, or where to turn. He sought
help from England’s hostels — shelters and
housing for homeless people — but it was
difficult to find one that would accept him, as
he was working two jobs. But neither of those
jobs provided him with enough to pay rent. He
lived on the streets for three days before he
found one hostel that took him in — a women’s
accommodation.
“I had to go into a women’s accommodation
because I was scared to tell people I was trans,
and I wasn’t sure I’d get somewhere to stay.
And to go into the men’s hostel would have
been a danger to myself, because I didn’t start
hormones yet.” he said.
Wanliss lived in the hostels for four months,
until the British Government provided him with
a house where he could pay rent. During his
stay in the hostels, he began the long and slow
process of transitioning. But even in England,
this proved frustrating.
“To transition [in England] you have to see a
counsellor. You have to get signed off to tell you
you’re sane enough, and then they write you a
letter to give to your GP [doctor], and the doctor
prescribes you testosterone. I had all [of] that,
and my doctor said, ‘Sorry we do not do this.’
They didn’t feel comfortable giving it to me.”
Wanliss said the area at the time was very
religious, and he feels it may have been the
reason for his roadblock. Desperate, he called
a charity seeking help, but they too offered
nothing. Impatient and frustrated, he spiralled
deeper into anger and depression.

105