top three on the stage . Many overall tittles , my sports teams dominated , my individual clients looked amazing and my firefighters , won the annual fire fighter challenge every single one of them that I prepped for it . So again I thought I knew everything .
I felt my knowledge and continued education in the fields I specialized was thorough enough , I mean I knew a fair bit ( I thought ) about advanced ( at the time current available science ) Biochem , fats , endocrine , system digestion , nervous system and hormones . Looking back , I was a baby and knew so little compared to what I see now as knowledgeability 15 years later . Essentially what I had done was , I had made myself an island metaphorically speaking . I was evolving externally , learning and applying my in field evolution to so many , yet I was confined on my island , inside myself and how I applied things to myself . For some reason I thought I was different .
So much so , I decided to start prepping myself and not use my coach who I had been coached by from the inception of my training and nutrition journey when I was a boy . From getting me ready for basic at 17 , He had taken me to every class and overall win that I had in my bodybuilding experience . He was the best coach , I couldn ’ t have asked or paid , there was for me no better one , he was the best in the business . His wisdom massive , he was really that knowledgeable , truly a wise sage , I mean the thing that could ’ ve kept me from falling on my face if I would ’ ve listened , but I thought I knew . When I told him this , I was going to prep myself he was gracious and told me that he ’ d always be there for me if I needed . He then advised me against it and said , “ not only a second set of eyes that are pragmatic and honest , but knowledge that you do not yet possess , is essential and he said more necessary than you ’ ll ever know .” I ’ ll never forget this he said “ you will certainly find that out the hard way ”. Moreover , he said the ability to apply that knowledge without hesitation and with strategy , that when dieting yourself you may not be able to be so concise , because you ’ re too close to it , the forest for the trees if you will .
So , remember I was rubber , so sure of myself that I knew it all . So on I went , dieted myself , got 2nd at provincials ( looked like crap ) then got utterly smoked at nationals . Stubborn , disbelieving and doubting myself , I failed prep , I didn ’ t have the detail needed , I thought if I came in at the top of my weight class and heavy weights it would be the difference I needed . Such a common thing I see in today ’ s young people “ if I weigh more I ’ m better ” and for women , “ if I weigh less I ’ m better ”. When the knowledge of experience tells us very simply , what we look like is what we look like regardless of the scale . I had lost my way , the process I had trusted and been guided by when I was coached . Yet I ignored my inner voice and pushed on to the next year offseason . I did what I had to get up to the 289lbs and at 29 years old , not once looking ahead to the ramifications of the choices I was making could have on me when I was older . Lunacy , I was doing everything I could imaginable to push the envelope . The whole time living in this weird doubtful scenario inside myself that even with all I knew , maybe I ’ d repeat again what I did the year before . I pushed deep down inside myself and kept saying the “ bigger I get the more I can make it happen ”. I felt myself breaking with doubt , confusion , inadequacy and disillusion wondering what I was doing , wondering what for and now I realize I was thinking , at what cost ? Besides that , having trouble breathing putting my shoes on was quite an exercise in cardio , simple things being nearly 300 pounds unless you ’ ve been there I know , there ’ s a whole other ball game in the realm of physicality . You are not athletic , you ’ re just big and everything is a challenge .
So one day I woke up , legitimately one morning After a night of terrible sleeping because of my horrible snoring sleep apnoea that comes along with being that big . And I was , like “ what the F am I doing this for , pushing my body with all the means that I had necessary to try to hit 300 pounds because I was going to be the biggest super-heavyweight ? To come back a whole weight class bigger , harder . Dominant . Then what ? THEN WHAT !? I needed guidance I need wisdom , I hit the wall at 100 miles an hour metaphorically speaking . If I just would ’ ve listened to my guide , my mentor , if I would ’ ve had him in my corner with my best interest in mind I would ’ ve grown slowly progressively taken a couple of years off from