Canadian Musician - September-October 2022 | Page 29

COLUMNS being isolating seems to be false . I ’ m fortifying existing relationships and building new communities all the time , and these things allow me to keep doing what I love doing … even if the proverbial tour van looks a little like a clown car sometimes .

4 . Do what works for you While we ’ re on the topic of building communities , I should mention that not every community I tried to build or join was a home run . As my body began to feel more like my body , and my voice more like my voice , I felt the desire for some quiet space at home to resume recording and producing activities . With that in mind , and the aid of Toronto childcare subsidies , I enrolled Oliver in infant daycare at only seven months of age .
It was a highly controversial choice for many outspoken parents who called me selfish or simply shook their heads with a nonchalant , “ I can ’ t imagine sending my baby to daycare so young ”. But you know what ? Oliver loved it . He was crawling and pulling himself to standing almost overnight , eager to keep up with all his new friends . On my end , I suddenly had a bizarrely fixed Monday to Friday schedule with the added feeling that if I got all my work done early , I could skip down the block to get Ollie earlier . I ’ ve never felt so motivated or been more efficient with my work , and while I ’ m admittedly spending less time with my son , the version of me that he gets is present , empowered , and excited to trade stories . This is what works for me , and I ’ d probably net more money if I worked less ( even with subsidies , infant care costs us over $ 60 a day ), but hey , as a professional musician reading this , you ’ re probably already used to making life choices that appear illogical to the rest of the world in the name of your art . That means Thursday mom group ain ’ t got nothing on your disappointed parents who are still wondering when you ’ ll get a “ real job .”
5 . It ’ s okay to be scared Don ’ t let anyone minimize or dismiss your feelings . Whether you ’ re considering motherhood or already a mother , this is a huge life change and your journey is uniquely yours , just the same way that your music is .
It took me years to make this leap of faith , and once my baby was here , it took me weeks to bond with him . I ’ m still fearful all the time . In fact , Oliver is currently crying so dramatically that I ’ m worried he ’ ll describe this night to his future therapist . Without his usual bed and sleep routine at the cottage last week , our careful sleep training went right out the window , and now he ’ s expecting me to run to him the way I did when protecting the other sleeping babies . This sucks so hard that I want to cry next to him in his crib and beg for forgiveness , but the logical part of my brain knows I just have to pull up my boots and re-start training protocol with guidance from my favourite Instagram sleep guru . As your baby grows , you ’ ll learn all about them and invent or research different strategies for coping with the hard stuff . Along the way , you ’ ll have moments of panic where you ’ re madly googling what a nasal aspirator is ( hint : you ’ ll need one ). You ’ ll probably ruin a few of your favourite stage outfits with mystery stains that will never come out or forget lyrics to your own songs in rehearsals . Whatever the case , you ’ re not crazy . What ’ s crazy is this : tomorrow I ’ ll look directly into the unapologetic face of the little goblin that terrorized me all night and I ’ ll think to myself , “ How is it possible to love this much ?”
Barbra Lica is a Juno-nominated singer-songwriter based in Toronto . She has performed her original songs around the world , from New York City ’ s legendary Birdland to international music festivals in North America and Japan . Her most recent album , You ’ re Fine , is a fusion of country , folk , and jazz elements that has amassed over 4.7 million streams on Spotify . In addition to writing for herself , Barbra has written cuts for such artists as jazz crooner Matt Dusk ( Entertainment One / Universal ), rising J-Pop singer Harumi ( Sony Music Japan ), and Taiwanese pop recording artist , Morrison Ma ( Universal Music Group / X Entertainment ). She is currently preparing for the Fall 2022 release of her next EP , including her latest single , “ Blue Monday ,” a co-production between Barbra and pianist-producer Joel Visentin .
CANADIAN MUSICIAN 29