Campus Review Volume 29 Issue 1 January 2019 | Página 27

workforce campusreview.com.au realise is that it’s very easy to blame yourself, because it doesn’t appear to be jealousy. It appears sometimes in the helpful suggestions or backhanded comments that make you feel bad about yourself. And I’ve moved away from certain opportunities and people because of this kind of professional jealousy. The saddest thing is that it often happens between women. I also think the person who is acting from that place of jealousy is often unaware of what they’re doing. They’re just acting on their feelings. This also happens within the PhD community. Successful PhD students often find they are subject to the tall poppy syndrome. Professional jealousy is alive in academia, and it’s quite subtle. The second problem is being the person who’s good at something, and therefore becoming the go-to person for that thing. An example of that in my university is the Three Minute Thesis competition, which is a presentation competition for PhD students. I’m the primary trainer inside my university, and the Three Minute Thesis competition has become really popular among early pre-researchers who might never have had the training back in their PhD days. So I get asked to do a lot of that sort of help and extra training for people, which is really hard to manage time-wise. Another aspect is people emailing you and asking you questions, or wanting to have a one-on-one meeting so you can apply your knowledge to their particular circumstance. I actually love doing that kind of work – it makes me feel great. I enjoy it. I feel like I’m practically applying the skills. I’m giving back. But the sheer number of them becomes really hard to manage, and saying no feels bad. I don’t want people to stop asking, but sometimes I just really have to manage the flow. The third problem is being as good as your boss, or knowing as much as your boss about something. So, I don’t know my boss’ whole job. She does a whole lot of stuff that I actually strategically don’t want to know about because I don’t want her job, but I know a great deal about research education, so I act in an advisory role. Luckily, I have a really good relationship with my boss at the moment, but in the past I’ve had much more difficult situations where my advice was either being ignored or pushed aside or I’ve been told not to give it. So I’ve had to learn how to be a good advice-giver, so that can be really problematic. I think many academics would experience that. I call it the ‘curse of knowledge’. Lastly, it’s just everyone wanting a piece of you. That’s actually different from asking for help. It’s offering you an opportunity – keynotes, travel – and it sounds so whiny to whinge about something like that; that’s why I’d say these are problems. My friend Richard Hume described them to me as “high-class problems”. They’re the kind of problems that everyone goes, “Well, I wish I had that problem.” So we really can’t complain about being asked to travel overseas four times in three months. It just sounds very whiny. So, you have to learn how to say yes or no to those opportunities. Some of them are so good that you feel like you have to jump on everything, but that’s just too exhausting. Your post has only recently been published, but are you expecting any pushback? I was a little bit, especially about the last one, but I’ve actually had quite the deluge of really lovely emails. There are not many comments there, but people wrote to me in private saying, “Oh, I’m sort of reading between the lines that you’ve experienced some hard times and I just want to say to you how much you’ve really helped me.” So, actually, I’ve had the opposite of what I expected to have. And I should’ve expected that from my audience because they are very lovely, generous people. I really tried to write the post from the point of view of ‘you may experience some of these problems’ or ‘you might be experiencing different versions of these problems, they don’t have to be as extreme as I’m experiencing them’. You can get a lot of opportunities offered to you in the general run-of-the-mill as an academic, but you have to manage your time. A lot of students, for instance, are offered things like teaching gigs, and they’re asked to help on committees and to organise conferences. These are all good opportunities to build skills and your career and so on, but managing your time around them and getting everything done is a skill everyone has to learn. Do you think the blog post offers lessons for people who aren’t as successful, in that it humanises success and shows that it’s not the perfect thing some people perceive it to be? One of my colleagues, Victoria, always tells me that I have knack for humanising things and making things approachable in the classroom, and I appreciate that feedback. She particularly likes the way I’ll freely tell people I’ve been in therapy. I’ll say ‘my therapist says this’ or ‘my therapist says that’, and people are sometimes shocked and come up to me after and say, “You’re in therapy?” I say, “Well, yes. I need to debrief with someone, and I don’t want to overburden my relatives, child or friends with these thoughts and problems I have, so I see a therapist and I just try to normalise that.” And people say, “That makes me feel relieved, because I see a therapist and I saw it as a deficit in me, and the fact that I’ve been subjected to professional jealousy intensely by about three different people. you’re so visibly successful and you still have those feelings, that makes it okay.” That’s one thing I didn’t realise about being a prominent person: you act as this model just by being yourself, and being vulnerable can actually be helpful to other people. It comes naturally to me, that’s just how I am, but I’m starting to realise that I’m actually providing a valuable service by being a bit of a mess in public. I agree. Also, it takes a certain degree of self-confidence to admit your vulnerabilities. Yes, and probably emotional privilege. I’m a twin, and I’m happily married and have a beautiful son. So I have three people really close to me who’ve always got my back, and it gives me a kind of cushion on life, and I have to recognise that I’m able to do and say things and to express things because I have that. It is emotional privilege. Not everybody has it, and I can’t expect everyone to react the same way or be able to do that. Not everyone has people around them who are genuinely helpful. And I encounter this a lot in my work. PhD students have some very complicated life circumstances. And so, although I can be a model on that, I wouldn’t expect anyone else to feel they have to be that confident themselves.  ■ 25