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Photo: University of Edinburgh
Stranger than fiction
A fictionalised memoir exposes the harsh realities of the PhD experience in a successful, modern university.
By Loren Smith
” I wake to the sound of raindrops tapping on the window of the tiny room in Pollock Halls of Residence. Situated on the edge of Holyrood Park near the foot of the dramatic little mountain, Arthur’ s Seat, this should be a sweet awakening. But I’ m soaked in feverish sweat, my stomach is cramping crazily with every little movement, my head is pounding like a gong and my back feels like I’ ve ridden a camel across cobbles all night.”
So begins Karin Bodewits’ s book about doctorate life at the University of Edinburgh, You Must Be Very Intelligent: The PhD Delusion.
The high drama continues as barely disguised bitterness permeates the pages. A following paragraph reads:
“ I applied for this PhD position – conducting research on cystic fibrosis – just a few weeks ago, after reading about it on a job portal for scientists. In fact I don’ t really have any particular interest in cystic fibrosis but during the previous years I had learned that it doesn’ t really matter to me what I work on. It could just as easily have been Alzheimer’ s or cancer or some strange single cell organism no one really gives a damn about.”
The book also depicts desperation, jealously, egos“ the size of Africa” and“ volcanic rages”, all within a world“ where young adults are forced into roles that make Lord of the Flies look like Enid Blyton”.
There’ s attempted and actual paper theft, and disappointing revelations about the aim of research.
“ Karin learned that research is more about being the first one to publish results than to collaborate in order to cure a deadly disease,” Bodewits writes.
The commercialisation of higher education is also touched upon, where students are treated more like customers. Then, there’ s the protagonist’ s PhD supervisor:“ He talks quickly and loudly and constantly … I try hard to follow everything he talks about but sometimes I don’ t even know if he is talking about my project or someone else’ s.”
A Dutch biologist, Bodewits says she novelised her recollections in a“ humorous but critical” way, partly to amuse researchers, and partly as a cautionary tale for PhD aspirants.
Admittedly, her toxic experience is just that: her own. Yet her tome is timely; there’ s never been more university graduates in the context of a diminishing job market. For life science PhDs in particular, her tale, published by Springer Nature, might resonate.
“ I fear the situation is not getting any better if we do not act,” she says, though she does offer some positive, PhD-related thoughts.
The book also depicts desperation, jealously, egos“ the size of Africa” and“ volcanic rages”.
“ The universities in the UK put pressure on the principal investigators to let students finish within four years. Plus, PhD students have second supervisors that are often … contributing to the project and offer at least a bit of a safety net for students struggling with their first supervisor.
“ Those measures protect students from eternal PhD life – a protection that seems quite unique internationally.” ■
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