CalChess President’s Message
From Tom Langland
Helicopter Parents
I see it all time, especially in chess tournaments. Parents who have extreme
anxiety about separating from their child before their game starts are the chess
equivalent of what is known as helicopter parents. Before a round starts, their
child has to have all their pencils sharpened for them, tissues ready, their notation
sheet filled out, drink bottle filled, snacks close at hand and that last minute hug
(or two or three) before the round starts. Unfortunately, this causes trouble for the
tournament directors who want to start the round on time. The TDs are stuck
between upsetting parents who want to continue to cosset their child, and those parents, players and
coaches who expect the tournament rounds to begin on time.
I really do appreciate the problem a parent has with separating from their child and wanting to be
comparable to a helicopter watching over them. Many times, I have been criticized that I don't know what
it is like! Anyone who knows me understands I really do. In fact, that's how I ended up being most prolific
National Tournament Director and International Arbiter in the US. When my sons started playing in like
the second grade I remember being exactly like a helicopter. I would watch every move from afar, cringing
every time they would hang their queen or miss a checkmate in one move. Finally at the State Grade Level
championship, I was driving my wife crazy and she suggested I volunteer to help direct to keep my mind
busy. That's what got me here, and yes, I know exactly just how it feels to be a helicopter parent! It's tough!
I've even seen helicopter parents vie against each other, like it’s a competition for who is the better parent.
Two moms of opposing players aspire to be the last to leave their child. Which will get the final hug and a
kiss in? All the while you can see the child hoping their parent would stop the fuss, go away and let them
begin their game. Then we have the parents who have to peek in whenever the opportunity arises, holding
the door open indefinitely to get that last glance in, hoping to get a glimpse of their child's position. I wish
parents could see how distracting this is to all the participants. Every child has to look up to see if it is
their parent peering at them, instead focusing on their game. I've even had a parent somehow observe their
child forgetting to press their clock and insisted that I go over and remind the player to press their clock!
Parents, the tournament staff do understand your desire to fuss over your your child and to make them
happy at the tournament. But please, remember the staff also wants to make the tournament a complete
success and that includes starting the rounds on time and keeping distractions out of the room. Please be
mindful of their requests and assist their efforts. Thank you!
Tom Langland
CalChess President
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CalChess Jour