August 2017
How did I end up in this terrible place? It must
be some mistake. Am I not a Christian? Did I not go to
church and offer my tithe? “Oh my Lord, there has
been a mistake,” I cry. “Who are you?” His question
sends cold shivers down my spine. Who am I? How is
it that He doesn't know me? I weep, “Lord, how can
You ask me that question? Have I not been saying,
'Praise the Lord, Praise the Lord' for everything?
Have I not been a member of the Outreach Team?
Have I not prayed morning and night and read my
Bible regularly? Have I not been supporting
Missions? Have I not been visiting the so many
Homes for the blind and supported orphans and
homeless?” I am shocked when I am shown the way
to hell. I beat upon my breast and pull my hair as I go
along. I never expected this.
As I fall into the black hole full of fire and
smoke, I scream. The devils receive me in their
embrace. Now I remember how I cheated and lied to
my parents, I disobeyed and disrespected them, how
when I married I fought with my spouse and lacked
tongue control, how I had been unfaithful to him. I
served mammon filling my jewel box with gold and
decked my almirah with clothes, I built houses and
bought cars. I took up a high-paying job that left me
with no time for God. I told little, little lies (after all,
does not everybody do it?) I didn't think they were
great sins. How I refused to repent when friends and
well-wishers counseled me. I was stubborn and
arrogant. I cheated myself. I deceived myself saying,
“This is not a big sin,” even though I knew heart of
hearts, I was not doing the will of the Father. I heard
God's voice from within but quelled it. I silenced my
conscience whenever it spoke to me and finally I
killed it. My God, I snuffed out the light called
conscience tha t was burning inside me. Oh my God!
I can't stand the heat. I lived in A/C. This
darkness terrifies me. Even for one hour power-cut I
used to throw up. To think I'd be groping in darkness
for eternity, O my God! I thought these worms would
die in the heat. But these giant caterpillars are
creeping all over me. I am allergic even to dust. How
will I stand this? Oh my God, please forgive me.
Please hear my cry. I knew all your commands but
didn't think it was this serious to disobey. I thought
you'd take my violation lightly, out of your love. To
think I have to burn eternally! Oh my God, I wish I
had done your will which wasn't that difficult; but I
believed the devil that I could repent later on. I never
imagined death will overtake me so soon and so
suddenly. I had no time to get ready to meet you. I was
too busy. Oh my God, will I get another chance to
live my life? I promise you God, I will lead a perfect
life. Oh my God, is there no relief for me? To add to
my woes I can see heaven from here and how I am
tormented to see what I have missed!
My dear friend, please do not come to this
terrible place. If ever you think you cannot overcome
temptation, please think of eternal burning and run
away. Once you come here, there is no way out. Yeee!
Iyooo!
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