film by Keiron Self
THE LONE RANGER ***
Dir: Gore Verbinski( 12A, 143 mins) Ah, the western, a mainstay in Hollywood cinema until the 70s; it’ s only occasionally that this genre flickers back into life with the likes of Unforgiven, Open Range or The Proposition. The Lone Ranger isn’ t a western, however; it’ s a lavish event movie rebooted from an outdated 50s TV series that most people aren’ t that aware of, and a considerable summer risk, despite having the Pirates Of The Caribbean team attached. Jerry Bruckheimer produces, Gore Verbinski directs and Johnny Depp takes the reins as Tonto, the Native American sidekick who moves centre stage in the series whilst Armie Hammer’ s Lone Ranger fades in good-looking fashion into the background amidst some spectacular set pieces. Noisy, script-addled but peppered with fun moments, The Lone Ranger is an exuberant but ultimately uninvolving prarie mess. A train crash is directed with vigour, there are moments of double actdom with Depp and Hammer, but they add up to little in the melee and a talented supporting cast featuring Tom Wilkinson, Ruth Wilson and Helena Bonham Carter barely register. Not an out-and-out disaster on the scale of say the Wild Wild West remake, another western TV show given a reboot, The Lone Ranger is more Hey-ho Silver than Hi-Ho Silver, kemosabe. Opens Aug 9
ELYSIUM ****
Dir: Neil Blomkamp( 12A, 120 mins)
The director of District 9 returns with another futuristic tale of haves and have nots. Instead of the alien‘ prawns’ marooned in South Africa and their human counterparts, Elysium has the age-old battle between rich and poor. The year is 2154 and those who have wealth can afford to live off Earth in a space station haven called Elysium, where Jodie Foster caters to their every need from cancer cures to lovely views. Earth, however, is an overpopulated mess: food is in short supply, violence is everywhere, and Foster does all she can to secure the exclusivity of Elysium despite the planet dwellers constantly trying to get in. Matt Damon plays Max, a resident of LA in and out of trouble with the law. Although trying to go straight he finds that he has to get into Elysium to save his life. Tooled up and modified with a variety of exo-skeleton appendages, he endeavours to get past the elite forces of Elysium; in particular Sharlto Copley’ s ruthless killer. Sci-fi with a social conscience, this is all about immigration, responsibility and revolution. Blomkamp again succeeds in creating a realistic future dystopia, Jodie Foster perfects her ice queen, Damon is as ever a likeable everyman, and the SFX are grungily integrated into an all too well imagined future. Opens Aug 23
2 GUNS ***
Dir: Baltasar Kormakur( 15, 90 mins) Another action comedy with two mismatched buddies going up against each other, and the mob, with slick results. Denzel Washington and Mark Wahlberg are two undercover operatives, one working for the DEA, the other for naval intelligence, who find that they have both been set up by the mob. The police are now on their trail along with baddie Bill Paxton who has a handy line in torture involving bulls. There are plenty of one-liners and Washington and Wahlberb make an engaging couple; even if the film does feel like another retread of Lethal Weapon / 48 Hours / any buddy cop film. Paula Patton, fresh from ass kicking in Mission Impossible, is relegated to girlfriend duties, and the action is solidly spectacular. Washington reliably adds meat to the proceedings and Wahlberg does another mouthy cop under Icelandic director Kormakur’ s tutelage with whom he also made the middling Contraband. 2 Guns doesn’ t quite fire on all cylinders, but it’ s not just shooting blanks. Opens Aug 16
THE CONJURING ****
Dir: James Wan( 15, 112 mins) A genuinely unsettling haunted house story made all the more shocking as it comes from schlockmeister director James Wan, who set the wheels of Saw in motion and gave us the silly jump-fest Insidious. Based on a true story... and then heavily embellished, this follows real life psychic investigators Ed and Lorraine Warren – played by Patrick Wilson and Vera Farmiga – as they go to a creepy haunted house in 70s America. So far so Amityville Horror, and although director Wan is treading on well worn formulas( poltergeists, witches, creepy dolls), he manages to rachet up the tension brilliantly. Lili Taylor is superb as the petrified mother trying to protect her daughters from the supernatural menace and the shocks when they come are shocking; a creeping dread pervades the entire film. It’ s an old fashioned ghost story done with aplomb that doesn’ t sacrifice character for schlocky scares. A superior horror. Opens Aug 2
RED 2 ***
Dir: Dean Parisot( 12A, 115 mins) A surprising sequel for a moderately entertaining action caper based on the DC Comics graphic novel RED Retired And Extremely Dangerous. Surprising as the first film was ok but hardly seemed like a franchise starter, but hey Bruce Willis, John Malkovich, Helen Mirren and Mary Louise Parker are all back and joined by further star wattage in the shapes of Anthony Hopkins, Catherine Zeta Jones and leapy about martial artist Byung-hun Lee. This time out Willis and Louise Parker are dragged back into killing people after they are named in a Wikileaksesque document saying they know all about a top secret weapon called Night Shade. Soon all the covert agents from around the globe are on their trail with Helen Mirren becoming an enemy this time out. Malkovich shines and provides most of the laughs amidst the action as the psychotic Marvin. It’ s amiable, if slightly Republican, with the cast clearly having a blast and mostly letting the audience in on the joke. Opens Aug 2
ALSO RELEASED: PERCY JACKSON: SEA OF MONSTERS( 12A) More Olympian hijinks with Poseidon’ s son as he searches for the golden fleece with a comedy centaur sidekick and a plucky warrioress. Like the first Percy Jackson but with new monsters and everyone looks a bit older. GROWN UPS 2( 12A) Yes, they let Adam Sandler do this. The world is a cruel and unrelenting place. BACHELORETTE( 15) Kirsten Dunst, Isla Fisher and Lizzy Caplan are asked to be bridesmaids for a girl they all ridiculed in their youth. This year’ s indie style Bridesmaids with added