Business Fit Magazine Special Editions Mother & Daughter Special Edition | Page 14

Aly & Leonie
Jones
England
It’s the support
you show your
children that’s the
important thing
Leonie is 13 years old and the youngest of four
siblings born to 44 year old mother Aly.
“When I saw the opportunity to take part in
this magazine, I immediately felt very strongly
about participating. I feel it is important to show
others that in a world where everyone strives for
perfection, the reality is you don’t have to strive to be
a perfect mum. I thought this was an amazing and
wonderful opportunity to also help my daughter to
see herself in a magazine as this would help her
self-esteem and self-belief to help encourage her to
follow her dream to become a model and actress.”
Despite having a privileged upbringing in the
Middle East, Aly’s childhood was challenging,
her family moved around which meant regularly
changing schools. Aly’s mother, with her strict
Victorian upbringing, had her at 37, considered
quite old for motherhood in the 1970s. Her
mother loved her immensely but couldn’t always
show it in the right way. She had high expectations
of her daughter, making it difficult to have an
honest relationship or to discuss certain matters
comfortably, leaving Aly unable to confide in her
and have the sort of relationship she craved.
Aly’s father, while loving and hardworking, was a
workaholic and an alcoholic and often was away
for up to six months at a time.
Aly vowed that when she had children, she would
love them without expectation and she would be
there to discuss anything with them. While she
feels her upbringing and lack of stability certainly
strengthened her in many ways, it also left her
with many self-defeating and insecurity issues
bringing out her own demons when she became
an adult.
“They say you replicate your parents because it’s
what you know ... and I did to many degrees. I
became an addictive personality type and went
from one alcoholic or abusive relationship to the
next,” she explains.
At the age of 21 she broke down physically and
mentally leading her to the decision to give up
drinking and the party life-style she had followed
for six years. Aly went on to have two children with
14
her then partner, but after catching him cheating
on her when her youngest was six weeks old, left
him. Two years later she married a close friend
and they preceded to have two further children.
When Leonie was two years old, they lost
everything, becoming homeless and living in a
hostel. To make matters worse, Aly’s father, her
idol, was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer
and her husband left her for another man,
leading to Aly having a second break-down. Her
children were the one thing that kept her going.
With a lot of self-discovery, self-analysis, self-
growth, she now realises how far she has come
and how successful she really is.
“I’m not perfect in any aspect, but I’m a great
parent, I don’t always get it right, but that’s okay.
There is no right or wrong, we are all striving to
be the best we can as parents and sometimes
the circumstances decide for you. It’s the support
you show your children that’s the important
thing!”
In the case of Leonie, Aly has had to show a lot
of support. Diagnosed with several mental health
issues including PTSD and anxiety, life has been
something of a challenge for the teenager and
her mother. Leonie has also been vulnerable
to bullies and found school difficult, she made it
through primary and junior school but couldn’t
deal with high school, leaving after the first year.
“My mum elected to home school me. This has
helped to reduce my anxiety, but it does mean
that I have less opportunity to make friends,” says
Leonie.
She finds there are challenges to being home-
schooled, staying motivated and not getting
distracted into watching YouTube videos or films
or catching up on the latest celebrity gossip.
For her the benefits include not feeling scared
or pressured to look a certain way or worrying
about answering questions in front of the whole
class when she doesn’t know the answer.
“It also means that on a really bad day I’m not
under pressure to get up and put a uniform on
and get to school when I can barely get out of
bed. It really helps that my mum is teaching me,
as she understands if it is a really bad day.”
15