Spirituality
react with the power of our feelings – but in
a reflected way. This is emotional intelligence.
Communication
as a Powerful
Source of Energy
Prof. Dr. Irmela Neu
It is impossible not to communicate, so let’s focus
on the question of how we may communicate in a
successful way.
To begin with, we give a certain impression
by the clothes we wear, and we should be
conscious of whether it corresponds to the
effect we want to give. This is also valid for our
behaviour and body language. Put simply, we
feel better when there is a harmony between
the setting and ourself.
In our modern times of increasing digitalisation,
we are more and more used to communicating
via electronic media, so there isn’t the
immediate impression we get with a personal
encounter. We write how we speak and use
symbols like emojis to show our feelings. The
quicker we can exchange information the
better. Facebook functions in a similar way,
with the addition of gaining “likes” to try and
draw the maximum of attention and followers.
We care more about the quantity and not the
quality of the comments. This is probably an
effect of our whole lifestyle of “time is money”.
The more people we communicate with, the
better we feel. There is also a tendency to form
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groups with people who share similar ideas,
are self-congratulatory and form a clique. On
the one hand, this may satisfy our wish to be
accepted and supported; on the other it may
make us aggressive when we meet people
who do not belong to our group.
Community-building tends to include or
exclude and finally to a certain radicalisation.
We need to remember that communication is
a powerful source of energy. It is up to us to
rediscover it and integrate it into our daily lives.
The first step is to separate what we say/hear
and what we feel, very often in a subconscious
way.
If we want to invite someone to a conference
for example and our feeling or hidden wish is
to pressure them to attend, we will probably
choose appropriate words to make that feeling
felt. To distinguish between observation/
information and feelings does not mean we
should supress our feelings. On the contrary:
they are a precious indicator of what’s going
on. Once we are aware of them, we are able
to take note of our feelings, but we not react
to them. Sometimes, it may be appropriate to
An emotionally intelligent person knows that
communication is always linked to personal
interpretation. The simple sentence “I need a
coffee” is, at first glance, a simple statement,
but it will depend on the person and the
setting – including the gender aspect. It can
be a demand, invitation, or order…. the person
to whom it is addressed may interpret it in
different ways – immediately making a coffee
(old style female secretary) or protesting. When
people know each other well or their status is
defined, the interpretation becomes clear.
However,
the
best
way
to
avoid
misunderstandings is to ask – for example if
this statement to need a coffee expresses the
wish to order or prepare a coffee, and whether
it involves other people.
The more we create a space of wellbeing, the
more communication becomes a powerful
source of energy. The method is easy, but not
simple: develop the ability to respect everyone,
but at the same time, transform possible
hidden negative feelings like the desire of
power, manipulation, jealousy etc. into a
positive power.
Negative feelings are often due to a lack of
recognition or respect. Without emotional
intelligence,
one
aggression
provokes
another, because feelings are conducting
us. In addition, we often reproduce the style
of communication used in our family. We
should all learn to express criticism not as an
accusation provoking bad consciousness, but
as a statement, always adding a constructive
solution. By doing this we open things up, so
that fresh air can come in and new ideas can
be formed.
In other words: once we establish a flow by
widening the field of communication creating
wellbeing, we let the source of constructive
communication flow.
Try a simple test: a negative statement blocks
energies, a proposal or solution open doors. It
is a constant process which requires mindful
attitude. Positive thinking does not mean
thinking something negative and saying
something positive, but establishing a common
space of authentic communication. To achieve
this, we need a few tools:
• Be clear in our statements, wishes,
proposals
• Ask if there are any doubts
• Focus on concrete solutions
• Listen
At leadership level, other abilities are also
required:
• Separate (often unconscious) feelings or
hidden wishes from statements
• Find the right words at the right moment
• Create a field of common wellbeing as a
source of flow
• Be constructive and open minded
The best ideas come out in a relaxed
atmosphere. We do not function in a linear
way that can be quantified, we work more like
the waves: there is a time of formation, then a
higher dynamic, and then a calmer flow - there
is a special rhythm. Communication becomes
powerful and a source of energy, if we respect
this flow and incorporate it into our daily life.
Then, this flow transforms us, giving us fresh
ideas and enabling us to interact happily with
life.
Prof. Dr. Irmela Neu , from the University of Applied Sciences, Munich/
Germany, specialised in Intercultural Communication in Spain and Latin
America and has been published in this field. She has worked with UNESCO
in the field of Education. She focuses on seminars in Mindful Communication
and in body-based teachings to open our heart, combined with Mindful
Communication. She holds a Black belt in the Korean martial art of Taekwondo.
Her message: Life is lovely. Contact: www.Irmela-neu.de
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