Business Fit Magazine January 2019 Issue 1 | Page 18

Mindset & Emotion
Life is short and unpredictable. So much that
affects us is completely out of our control. As
we grow and mature, we learn to navigate the
consequences of life. Some consequences are
nothing more than irritating nuisances, such as,
for example, when we arrive late because we got
stuck in an unexpected traffic jam. But, then, there
are other times when life throws us a curveball and
everything dramatically changes in one moment,
with serious repercussions for us and those that
love us. Suddenly, our life heads in a direction we
may never have anticipated.
And, yet, throughout all of life’s ups and downs,
and twists and turns, we always have control
over one thing. We always get to decide how
we respond in any given moment, to any
given situation. Viktor Frankl, the Austrian
neurologist, psychiatrist and Holocaust
survivor, explains the importance of this so
beautifully: “Everything can be taken from
a man but one thing: the last of the human
freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any
given set of circumstances, to choose one’s
own way.”
Boundaries, like freedom, speak of our ability
to choose what we allow and what we block in
our lives. It is that perfect intersection between
a Yes and a No.
Our time and our energy are finite resources
which we must guard, attentively and lovingly.
Healthy boundaries are a necessity which
prevent us from becoming overwhelmed and
exhausted. They protect us from generally
feeling stressed out.
This is true both professionally and personally.
We need to learn to recognise when enough
is enough, long before burnout looms in our
horizon.
Think about your personal relationships. Have
you ever been the one in the relationship
who is always planning what to do at the
weekend or where to go on holiday? Or even
something as routine as always cooking dinner
or emptying the dishwasher? Sooner or later,
you are likely to become resentful of this and
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wish your partner would start pulling their
weight more. This frustration is your sense of
self-respect raising its head and poking you
into awareness.
In fact, feeling angry is a red flag that we
must not dismiss or deny. When someone
has overstepped into our territory without
our permission, it annoys us. As an example,
imagine it is Friday afternoon. You finish work
at 6pm, and it is 5:50pm. It’s been a long week
and you are looking forward to heading out.
Suddenly, your boss appears at your desk, coat
on and briefcase in hand, with an urgent task
for you to finish before you leave. One quick
glance at the paperwork that is being handed
over to you and you know it will take at least
one hour to complete. You are crestfallen and
furious, yet you don’t complain.
This scenario may be familiar to you. If it is
not, perhaps there have been times when you
have a gut feeling that you are being taken
advantage of and you are fighting with yourself
to hold back your tears. Maybe you have
felt, or even been told, that this response is
irrational or too intolerant. Please don’t. Never
silence your inner alarm system. Instead, turn
up the volume of your inner wisdom and react
accordingly. Your instinct is most likely to be
right. Your sanity matters. Your happiness is
important. You are worthy of living your life, on
your terms.
Of course, it does not always feel easy to
put our foot down. Sometimes, we convince
ourselves that it is impossible to do. Perhaps,
Never silence
your inner alarm
system