Burns Insurance Group Newsletter JANUARY 2014 | Page 5

6 Ways to Strengthen Your Relationship in 2014
If you’re looking to add spice to your love life, more
fun to your weekends or a better way to resolve
conflicts, 2014 is the perfect time to do it.

can be as simple as giving a heartfelt compliment,
touching and kissing or surprising your partner by
doing a dreaded chore or errand.

This year, instead of making a New Year’s
resolution for yourself, why not resolve to make your
relationship stronger, healthier and happier? Here
are six ways to turn a good relationship into one
that is exciting, passionate and really happy! These
strategies are based on my long-term study, ongoing
since 1986 and funded by the National Institutes of
Health, where I learned what makes couples happy
and keeps relationships strong.

4. Resolve to empty your “pet-peeve pail”
Finding: I found that happy partners pay attention to
the small stuff, the daily obstacles and bumps in the
road. They don’t let small issues pile up until they
cause big problems.

1. Resolve to lighten up.
Finding: One of the qualities I observed among the
happiest couples is the ease with which they relate.
They joke. They shrug their shoulders with a smile.
They are accepting. Sometimes we forget what
brought us together in the first place.
Solution: In 2014, sit down with your partner and tell
stories about how you first met. Then share with your
partner a quality that always makes you smile. This
two-part exercise helps couples get back in touch
with the happy side of their relationship, as opposed
to the more serious side.
2. Resolve to be an inspiration to each other.
Finding: The happy couples in my study don’t
criticize each other, but instead inspire their partners
by working on and improving themselves.
Solution: In 2014, take responsibility for your own
behaviors, actions and words. Get in shape. Get
things done. Put a date night on the calendar. Don’t
wait around for your partner to do it. You are a team,
so when one partner contributes, the other will
reciprocate.
3. Resolve to focus on the positive.
Finding: The happy couples in my study focus on
what is going well in their relationship, rather than on
the problems and the negative aspects.
Solution: In 2014, think of small behavioral changes you can both try that help each other feel loved,
noticed, cared about, supported and valued. It

Solution: In 2014, bring up things that bother you,
but do it in a positive way. You might say, “Honey, it
feels really comforting to me when our house is tidy,
and I feel stressed out when I come home to dishes
in the sink and clothes all over the floor. Let’s come
up with a solution together.”
5. Resolve to be more empathetic.
Finding: The happy couples in my study try to
understand their partner’s perspective or frame of
mind.
Solution: In 2014, whenever you find yourself feeling
critical, resentful, angry or judgmental, try to switch
places with your partner and imagine his or her
perspective or frame of mind. Most arguments,
conflicts and bad feelings between partners could
be totally defused if empathy were to become their
default reaction.
6. Resolve to seize the moment.
Finding: The happiest couples in my study were not
content with a relationship that was decent, okay or
so-so. They described their partnership as great or
amazing, and themselves as incredibly lucky and
grateful. By paying attention to the relationship on
a daily basis, they kept their partner very happy and
their relationship very strong and healthy.
Solution: In 2014, don’t settle for a “good-enough”
relationship where you get along most of the time,
managing the house, jobs and family competently, but where the passion, excitement and fun are
gone. Seize the moment to try new things together,
practice new behaviors and get back in touch with
your love for each other. Try to do something good
for the relationship every day.

I celebrate myself, and
sing myself, And what I
assume you shall
assume, For every atom
belonging to me as good
belongs to you.
I loaf and invite my soul,
I lean and loaf at my
ease observing a spear of
summer grass.
My tongue, every atom
of my blood, formed
from this soil, this air,
Born here of parents
born here from parents
the same, and their
parents the same, I,
now thirty-seven years
old in perfect health
begin, Hoping to
cease not till death.
Creeds and schools in
abeyance, Retiring back
awhile sufficed at what
they are, but never
forgotten, I harbor for
good or bad, I permit to
speak at every hazard,
Nature without check
with original energy.
- Walt Whitman

BUFFALO CHICKEN CHEESE BALLS
INGREDIENTS
1 store-bought rotisserie chicken
1/4 cup hot sauce (recommended: Frank’s Red Hot)
1 teaspoon ground black pepper
1 3/4 cups sharp Cheddar
1/4 cup freshly sliced scallions
1 cups all-purpose flour
3 eggs, lightly beaten
2 cups panko bread crumbs
Vegetable oil, for frying
Blue Cheese Dip:
1 1/2 cups mayonnaise
1/2 cup packed blue cheese, broken up
1/2 teaspoon hot sauce

Blue Cheese Dip:
1 1/2 cups mayonnaise
1/2 cup packed blue cheese, broken up
1/2 teaspoon hot sauce
2 teaspoons Worcestershire sauce
1 teaspoon salt
1/2 lemon, juiced
1 teaspoon chopped garlic
Directions
Have oil heated to 350 degrees F.
Pick the meat from the chicken and discard the skin. Place the
chicken in a large bowl and add the hot sauce, pepper, cheese,
and scallions, and toss to combine. Roll the chicken into
2-ounce balls, about the size of a golf ball.

Place the flour, eggs, and bread crumbs in 3 separate bowls.
Roll each ball in the flour, then the egg and then the bread
crumbs. Set aside.
When the oil is hot fry the chicken balls in batches. Cook for
about 2 minutes per batch. Remove the chicken to paper towel
lined plate to drain the excess oil.
To make the sauce, combine all ingredients in a large bowl and
adjust the seasoning if necessary. Serve the chicken alongside
the dipping sauce.