10
“It is all about talking”
When you are out with a child there is so much to talk about the world around us. When you see a bus, you can ask what colour is the bus? Are there lots of people in the bus? Where do you think they are going? Are they going shopping? What will they buy in the supermarket? Will they buy bread, milk, or an apple?
You can point out the numbers on the doors as you are walking down the street, you can constantly talk to the children about the environment around you.
I don't think a child needs lots of toys, one toy garage can be used for so many things: one day it is for cars, another day it is used with the toy animals or people.
“I always insist the child wear clothes that can get mucky”
Children need to have fun and that means playing football in the garden, going the park and getting muddy. Therefore I suggest the children come in clothes that are not precious or designer! It’s an add-ed worry if the parents want their children to remain pristine.
What is your style with the children?
When a child is with a childminder they do tend to listen more. I don’t raise my voice unless it is a dangerous situation. You have to give a child a certain amount of freedom. You have to be consistent with them. I do not have a naughty step, the children are never threatened, if they misbehave or are un-kind to other children, we talk about it, as children should be reminded that some actions are not ac-ceptable. I like to use positive reinforcement and will take a child away from a situation that is escalat-ing.
I encourage parents to try not to use No all the time, I find using the word Stop in most situations works well. Using different tones of voice is very effective too.
“Children aren't naughty”
Sometime parents come and say “has he been good, or has he been naughty?” but what do you define as naughty? I think a lot of children are too young to understand. They are experimenting with life, testing the boundaries. They need to be told what to do and guided and I think children feel more con-fident when they have a routine.
How do you deal with tantrums?
I'd say just let them have their tantrum. Make sure they are safe and can't hit their head, but allow them to see the tantrum out, as any attention given at this stage is negative, unless of course the child has got themselves into such a state, that they’re not really sure why they are screaming. They then just proba-bly need a cuddle and some reassurance.
Afterwards, make a distraction. Perhaps read them a story, or ask what would they like to do now.
“Too many choices is bad”
Too many choices can confuse a child. For example, if a child doesn't want to put their coat on don't then say - “Do you want me to put your coat on?” or “Shall I put your coat on? Etc....” Simply say “Put your coat on”, while assisting them, otherwise you could end up having the same discussion for 10 minutes at the end of each day.
Number one tip for a parent
I do not believe parents should be dependant on parenting books, some of these books can make you feel inadequate. Having a child is a journey and you should go with your instinct. I know it is difficult, but if you can be relaxed around your child – and I would always say it is
important to be relaxed around children – it could help so much.
For more information about choosing a childminder in Surrey visit Surrey County Council's website.