Someone
My Best
Worst
Mistake
시 양예모
I’m sitting on my self-hating chair
Inquiring myself what I have done
Breathing is sin, and I was not fair
But nothing can change now, son.
I made a lot before, and I repeat myself
And I already know there’s more to suffer
Cause I didn’t take things that was offer
And I pined myself to muddy dirt road again
This messy hair I have here, is nest of problems
My brain is clumsy like my newborn imaginary sister
She can’t walk, she can’t talk,
And critically, she don’t understand
This idiotism of mine will never disappear,
Like I’m still unsure of which is right or left
When breathing becomes sin again,
Then I’ll be on my self-hating chair.
When I end my long cycle of this weariness
Then I’ll close my eyes contently, in peace
If I could be forgiven, I’ll promise I won’t do
I learn it again and again, then I promise myself for a change
When we met again –
My heart quivered with anguish
Like fragile white leaves
Trembling breaking
In the icy winter wind
Poetry Esther Ra
When we met again –
The sky was bluer than ocean depths,
And like humpback whales
Swimming through the clouds
I wanted to sing ululations,
But found I had forgotten the songs,
When we met again –
The burning fall hung
By the thinnest golden thread
On the tip of a branch
Like a sweet, rich persimmon,
With no one to eat it,
When we met again,
There were so many words
I swallowed
Unspoken
In my heart.
I can’t forget the way you—
I’m sorry that I didn’t—
I wish that I had never—
Could we ever try—
My heart—
Still—
When we met again,
I realized that my best worst mistake
Was meeting you,
Falling into you,
Becoming a part
Of
You,
Because we shimmered,
Like a bubble, in the air, for a moment,
And then burst, like everything else,
And drifted in fragments
Through the empty air,
You and me,
Once
We.