Brooks and Company 4th Qtr 2016 4th Qtr 2016 | Page 8

Love and Marriage
By: Southern Mama Phillicia Ritch
My husband is currently
getting his minor in family
and marital counseling. Now,
those of you who know me
can see the irony in my
husband getting a minor in
psychology. I am about as
crazy as they come. For those
of you who do not know me I
will try to describe myself.
My homegrown children describe me as a cross
between Tess off of the television series,
Touched by an Angel, and, Tyler Perry’s
Madea. I am the crazy lady who does my yard
work in an obnoxiously huge floppy hat and flip
flops with a red headed, pesky, little dog
snapping and yapping at the lawn mower
wheels. I put up the Christmas tree in the
middle of the summer if it suits my fancy. I
drive a church van full of children singing so
loudly we stop traffic and I enjoy every minute
of it. I would love to tell you I am a godly
woman full of grace, elegance, and poise but
honestly I am just a hot mess! I am probably
what most psychologists would call text book
crazy. (I cannot even imagine how they would
diagnose him for putting up with me. LOL!)
However, I am sure if he ever writes a book that
thing will be a best seller. He will never run out
of material as long as I am around.
He informed me the other night that according
to his psychology books our marriage should
have failed a long time ago. Due to our
brokenness as children and the differences in
our personalities, we are not compatible. He
said, “What are your thoughts on that one?” My
thoughts were, “Hmmm….Honestly, I have no
idea how any marriage stands a chance. You
take two idealistic people, throw them in a
house together, and expect them to carry a
mortgage, pay bills, and (gasp) raise children to
healthy adults. Yeah, nothing could go wrong
there!” I simply wiggled my nose (another one
of my crazy habits when I am in deep thought),

shook my head, and looked him straight in the
eye and said, “But God…..!” He just smiled
because after being married to me for so long he
knows what I meant by that statement.
I know many young people who are getting
married and a few of them have asked me,
“What is the secret to a marriage that stands the
test of time?” My reply to this is, “He and I
both know that but for the grace of God and his
tender mercies where would any of us be.
Through God’s grace, we both learned the true
meaning of love. We learned, “Love is patient,
love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast,
it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it
is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it
keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not
delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It
always protects, always trusts, always hopes,
always perseveres.” (I Corinthians 13:4-7)
Now, I don’t claim to know what all of those
books stacked on his desk say about the matter.
However, the word of God and life has taught
me a few things. When we take these life
principles found in God’s word and apply them
to our relationships then love never fails. Love
matures and grows. When love matures and
grows, it stands the test of time. The only way I
can see for a marriage to last is to put your
marriage into the hands of your Creator. You
take your brokenness and put it into His hands,
instead of expecting your spouse to fix it or be
your savior. You do not go into a marriage
thinking you can fix the other person, or think
they can fix you, or complete you. You are not
God. Your spouse cannot fill that role. Only
your Creator can do these things.
As I was talking with my friend, Darlene, the
other day, we were discussing love and
marriage, and how it changes over time. In our
youth, love burns brightly like fireworks, where
a touch can send your whole body into tingles.
As we grow older, love changes. It matures.
You are patient and kind with each other. You
care for each other in sickness and in health. It