COPING SKILLS (continued)
by r0lly
This is a continuation of Coping Skills from the last report. We talked about what are Coping Skills and what they are useful for. Some Coping Skills are Negative, meaning they will not do well as to Positive Coping Skills. Let us start with the following...
Negative Coping Skills:
Alcohol:
Drink to change your mood. Use alcohol as your friend. Drink to forget. Many will use alcohol as a Coping Skill and this can only make matters worse once the effect of alcohol is gone you risk being even more depressed then you started out to be.
Denial:
Pretend nothing's wrong. Lie. Ignore the problem. Thinking “It'll go away” rather than to deal with the problem and/or situation that is causing a disturbance to you.
Drugs:
Abuse coffee, aspirin, medications. Smoke pot. Pop pills. Do cocaine. Use anything mood altering that will help you to feel different in attempt to rid the problem or situation that is disturbing you. Drugs will not make the problem go away on a permanent basis and can cause more damage than anything you expected.
Eating:
Keep binging. Go on a diet. Use food to console you (self soothe with food) Don't eat as a form of control or you risk getting in a worse situation then expected again.
Fault-finding:
Have a judgmental attitude. Complain. Criticize. Blame. Now this kind of negative coping skill can actually get you into trouble with others in your surrounding.
Illness:
Yes, unbelievably, some people will do what they have to develop headaches/nervous stomach/major illness. Become accident prone and develop other ill ways so not to deal with the problem or situation. What do you think happens once your illness goes away? The problem or situation is still there and hasn't been dealt with.
Indulging:
Stay up late. Sleep in. Gambling. Internet. Buy on impulse. Waste time. (All for self soothing or for control)
Isolating:
Remove yourself from your regular contacts and activities. Reduce your self-care. (That is definitely not a good way to solve any problem or situation that require to be taken care of).
Nervous habits:
Nail biting, picking. (I am sure you may come up with quite a few more here).
Passivity:
Hope it gets better. Procrastinate. Wait for a lucky break. Thinking things will change with no action... “If only I could win the lottery!”
Placating:
To cause someone to feel less angry about something, especially by concessions. (e.g.: The angry customer was not placated by the clerk's apology)
Punitive:
Giving the silent treatment
Revenge:
Get even. Be sarcastic. Talk mean. Passive-aggressive behavior
Self-harm:
Cutting. Pulling out your hair thinking “I'll get them by hurting me”
Stubbornness:
Be rigid. Demand your way. Refuse to be wrong. Try to force it to go your way so you don't have to cope (“My way or the highway” - attitude)
Tantrums:
Yell. Mope. Pout. Swear. Drive recklessly. Break something.
Tobacco:
Smoke to relieve tension. Smoke to be “in”.
Victimize, be a victim:
Become violent. Cry. Give up.
Withdrawal:
Avoid the situation. Skip school or work. Keep your feelings to yourself. Quit.
Worrying:
Fret over things. Imagine the worst (even things you have no control over).
And now we continue with Positive Coping Skills:
Mental:
Imagination Life planning/goals Organizing Problem Solving
Relabeling/re-framing Time Management
Write things down
Physical:
Biofeedback Medication Exercise/sports Self-Care Stretching
Spiritual:
Commitment Faith Prayer (worship, forgive) Surrender (acceptance)
Valuing
Diversions:
Getaways Hobbies Learning new things Music Play Work Pets
Gardening Building something Arts Renovations
Social:
Balancing Conflict Resolution Esteem Building Networking Togetherness
Flexibility (opposite of stubbornness)
Interpersonal:
Affirmations Assertiveness Contact Expression Limits Linking
My research and professional connections on Coping Skills are saying: “THINK of what Negative Coping Skills you would like to stop using and write those down and work on them one at a time.”
As well, THINK of what Positive Coping Skills you need to focus more on and start practicing them one day at a time.
Coping Skills are natural and can be practiced to help you make better decisions in life.
Be sure to come back to Bending Reality Magazine (bendingrealitymag.com) for more Life Skills in our next issue that will help us all in both, virtual and in the real world.