Brewarrina News October 2020 | Page 32

JUST FOR FUN
THE SEARCH FOR UNDIES IN BRE AND THE RIDGE — A RESEARCH PROJECT
Me : ( enters shop ) There is no-where in Brewarrina where I can buy undies – men ’ s or women ’ s , did you know that ? The gentleman sits in his area with a big smile on his face , but that ’ s about it . He doesn ’ t say anything , just continues to smile . I ’ m serious , I say ; there is nowhere I can buy undies here . I then go about trying to convince him to stock a particular range , but quickly realise I ’ m not getting anywhere .
Me : ( enters shop 2 ) I wait until the person I need to speak to is available You might think this is amusing , I say to him , but there is nowhere I can buy undies in Brewarrina , mens or womens . Storekeeper number 2 does look a tad bemused and asks me if I would like to borrow some of his . I decline and then tell him about a particular range I like , and tell him he should stock it .
© Can Stock
I Google it to show him . An uncomfortable silence ensues as Google accommodates by bringing up a number of fairly naked bodies and various types of undies and I suggest that this is not the place and he could probably google on his own if he
was interested . 😊 I leave shortly after , unsure of whether he thinks it ’ s a profitable venture .
Me : enters shop 3 . Speaks to the , once again , Man , behind the counter . Did you know there is nowhere in Bre I can buy undies , I tell him . Now this one doesn ’ t actually say anything at all , just looks at me – sort of in disbelief in his big wide eyes . I ’ m serious I say , you ’ d sell them if you had them . I ’ m about to order online , but I ’ d prefer to buy in town . You can get them on a nice rack … Storekeeper 3 is not saying anything at all . Then his offsider , a woman ( thank God ), appears , and without appearing to move his body , Storekeeper 3 looks at her and says ‘ She thinks we should sell undies ’. I quickly repeat what I ’ ve already said so many times today . There are no undies in town . I instantly notice a twinkle , quite a naughty twinkle in the woman ’ s eye and I meet her gaze . I ’ m not looking for lingerie , I say , just plain old basic undies ( jeez , why is this so hard ).. I buy mine in Dubbo , she
says ( well , thanks for that ). I usually get 12 months supply every six months when I go , she says , an answer which begs a few questions . Maybe I should just ask her for some of her undies . You can get bamboo ones , they ’ re eco friendly .. I say . She ’ s still smiling , with that twinkle , and I drop the basics idea and suggest we talk about lingerie .
Enough . After an unsuccessful day , I bump into the Locum Dietitian and tell her of my woes . She tells me a few undies problems she ’ s had , one in particular when the elastic completely gave way on a really hot day in London and they started falling down under her dress . ‘ I had to go behind a pole and take them off , she said . She also recalled having no luck at all finding undies in South East Asia , where after a month of searching , she asked a store owner who burst out laughing , then pointed at her & said ‘ Noooo .. you too big ” ( at size 10 ) & so she eventually resorted to getting some sent out from England . I ask her , does Lightning Ridge have undies ? She agrees to do a bit of a research project in The Ridge , and gets in contact a few days later and tells me what happened .
Gemma : I popped into ( Shop X ) in town today and asked the Owner ‘ have you got any knickers for sale ?’. Well , usually she ’ s not coy , however there were a few tourists around & perhaps not wanting to give an ‘ undies vibe ’ to the shop , I got a very prompt response of NO . The other shop that sells everything from buckets to bras probably has , however these would likely be ‘ Tradies ’ brand and quite frankly , if you ’ re over twenty , & not extra small in size , they give the impression of being incredibly uncomfortable & giving you the ‘ builders bum ’ look . Not to mention if you were wearing them on a date , they would likely act as a bit of a chastity belt . Hmmm … ;)
She then suggested Make your own undies workshops – for men and women and suggested they could be some kind of Speed Dating service . You would be able to check out the styles that people chose to make and immediately rule out men who made Y fronts or old boxers as potential dates , she suggested to me . Men , of course , probably wouldn ’ t worry at all what kind the women were
making 😉
So , the quest for undies continues . Either I shall have to make a special order from the next person I know visiting Dubbo … or order them online .
Project designed by Lara , cleaned up by Gem . 😉
© Shutterstock
PAGE 32 BREWARRINA NEWS