Brass Monkey that Funky Monkey March 2014 | Page 7

Brass Monkey, that funky monky

which is my ultimate weakness and automatically puts a smile on my face. We were walking on this long journey, but where were we actually headed? I have absolutely no idea but Master seemed confident. Mile after mile Master walked, as I lazily freeloaded on his shoulder; I told you I was a smart and manipulative monkey! Anyways, as we trudged on through the desert, in what I can only assume was a voyage to nowhere, Master seemed discouraged, looking at his compass and yelling obscure things. I poked Master trying to assess his frustration levels and he grumbled, shooing me off his shoulder. It took him a few more hours and miles of him looking at the map and flipping it in all different directions before he finally gave and set up our “camp” for the night. In reality, all this was him rolling out a sleeping bag for himself and me trying to stay warm next to him. This long dreadful process of Master getting irritated and maps being flung about repeated on an endless loop for days, until one night, when everything changed.

Master and I were asleep when suddenly car engines roared and bright lights practically blinded us. Upon a closer look Master said something about the truck having a Nazi flag on it. The Nazis stopped near us and set up camp, Master decided to hide behind a hill, only feet away from a mean important looking guy. The Nazi man went on and on about this Hitler man so I lost interest and dozed off slowly.

The next morning was almost as eventful as the night before. I had woken as Master picked me up and carried us back to our little camp. He was giddy as discussed with me that the Nazis were looking for the Ark of Covenant too. It seemed confusing as to why he was excited, they were looking for the same thing he was-shouldn’t that make us enemies? As I pondered this, we tailed the Nazis from a safe distance. I realized quickly we were going back the same way we came from. Why were we going back to Cairo? For some reason the men seemed to be drunk and yelling, something about Indiana...Loans? No Indiana Jones. They were yelling about what a fool he was and how he should learn from his ongoing, never ending, mistakes. I could hear even clearer as Master got closer, apparently too close, when a Nazi shouted, “Intruder!”

The biggest vehicle stopped as the rest continued onward. The man from last night appeared. Master tried to run but stopped when he saw guns pointed at him from all directions. Defeated, he asked what they were going to do to him. The man laughed and said nothing if Master would complete a task for him. The man even threw in an incentive-a large reward of money. Master agreed, he would have been an idiot to reject the offer, mainly because he had no choice.

Since we were now allies with the Nazis, they gave us a ride in their tank back to Cairo, I attempted to call shotgun but that got shot down because I was a monkey, a terrible reason if you ask me. Anyways, when we arrived, the man laid out the terms of Master’s agreement; we had to locate this Indiana Jones, find out everything he knows, then eliminate him. When we left the man, Master told me his real plan of obtaining information about the Ark and keeping it to himself instead of upholding his contract, what an evil genius!

It was now late April and Master informed me our target had arrived; word had gotten around about how generous and charming he was, making me feel guilty again about hurting this man who seemed innocent. Emotions wouldn’t take over my actions though, I found this Indiana in the plaza and attempted to use my adorableness to my advantage. He wasn’t into me really though, until his girlfriend (at least I think she was his girlfriend, but that’s another story), wouldn’t shut up about how “cute” I was. I managed to stay perch, with me in tow, and they were getting away until I used my monkey screech to alert the Nazis. The girl, Marion, looked shocked and then sadly pushed me off her shoulder. I tried to keep up but, their human legs were faster than mine. Out of breath, I gave up and went home feeling utterly defeated.

Arriving home, I found a livid Master who was redder than a tomato. I knew I was in for it. He yelled, he screamed, and he threw things at me but luckily dodging is one of my strong suits. Master had said I was a worthless overpriced monkey. I gave him my puppy dog eyes and he calmed down, slightly, at least he wasn’t throwing things anymore.

It took a few days for things to blow over, thankfully Master was informed of a meeting Indiana had soon, the Nazis were going to poison them through their food and their friends were helping. As a punishment, Master put me in a bin with no food or water, he said maybe it would do me some good. For some reason I didn’t resist and let him place me in the bin. It was in that moment I realized I hated Master; he didn’t deserve power, money or anything.

It had probably been day two and I felt awful, my stomach was so hungry I couldn’t help it, I started screeching and knocking around the basket. In all of my rage I almost didn’t notice the lid come off and hands that lifted me up. It was that Marion girl! She looked at me with sorrow and immediately hugged me and ran to get me food. Master never hugged me. I swear I ate more than I have ever eaten in my entire life. With my belly protruding out I fell asleep in Marion’s lovely rocking arms.

I woke up to the sound of laughter. How wonderful. I opened my eyes and saw Marion, she was still holding me, I saw Indiana and some other men I had seen around Cairo. They were discussing something about Tanis and a Staff of Ra when food came in the room. I smelt dates-my favorite! I was alarmed to see the Nazi man who made the deal with Master. Then, I remembered the plan Master told me, the Nazis were going to infiltrate the meeting and poison their food. The Nazi man set the food down and winked at me. Marion was laughing at Indy and Indy was telling stories to his friends. I knew what I had to do.

I crawled off Marion’s lap, to the food, I looked at the dates, my goodness they sure looked good for being poisonous. I grabbed the date and slowly ate it, hopefully they would understand the food was poisoned, this was all I could think of to help, my small contribution. I crawled back into Marion’s lap and everything faded to black.