BrandKnew September 2013 September 2013 | Page 17

brandknewmag.com 16 Meanwhile over at Cannes Every June, this French Riviera town attracts the cream of the advertising world. This year, Lee Clow, Shelly Lazarus, George Lois and others. You might have expected the media to report on what these legendary executives had to say about an industry that last year, according to Nielsen, invested $557 billion in advertising. But no. Much of the news out of Cannes were the “celebrities” in attendance. According to USA Today, “Celebrities at this year’s ad festival, the industry’s largest trade show and awards event, include hip-hop artist Sean Combs, lifestyle expert Martha Stewart and comedian Jack Black.” The same article also mentioned Conan O’Brien, who poked fun at the audience with his comment, “Advertisers are scum.” Also, singer Michael Bublé who demonstrated his favorite app, the SleepStream 2, and the band Fun., who boasted about “We Are Young,” a song used in recent Super Bowl commercials. Jack Black promoted his new web series, “Ghost Girls.” And Sean Combs touted Revolt, his new music-oriented cable TV channel. But no mention of Clow, Lazarus or Lois. Just being a celebrity is not enough. Martha Stewart has 2.8 million Twitter followers, an impressive number considering that Barack Obama has 33.9 million and the King of the Twitter world, Justin Bieber, has only 41.6 million. So what has all this Twitter effort brought Ms. Stewart? Not much. In the past ten years, Martha Stewart Living Omnimedia has had only one profitable year -- 2007, when the company made $10.3 million. Last year, sales were down 10.7%. In 2011, sales were down 4.1%. In 2010, sales were down 5.7%. In 2009, sales were down 13.9%. In ten years, Martha Stewart Living Omnimedia, Inc. has had revenues of $2.4 billion and managed to lose $256.3 million. Martha Stewart is one of the most famous women in the world, with a sterling reputation as a “lifestyle expert.” Yet in a decade, the company she represents has managed to lose more than a quarter of a billion dollars. Celebrities don’t listen to non-celebrities. Therefore, I hesitate to suggest this to Martha Stewart, but any company incorporating the word “omni” in its name is headed in the wrong direction. A company needs to stand for “something,” not for “everything.” Celebrity chimpanzees Celebrity worship is not just a human trait. In his book Brain Bugs, Dean Buonomano tells the story of a chimpanzee colony where the dominant male had hurt his hand and was limping. Soon the juvenile males of the group started to imitate his limp, a form of flattery that would have been unlikely if a non-dominant male had been injured. In another case, rhesus monkeys were given a choice between a lot of juice or just a little juice plus a peak at a headshot of another monkey. Strangely, they preferred the latter. But this was only true if the headshots were of dominant males. They were willing to sacrifice some juice for pictures of individuals above them in the social hierarchy, but not below them. Humans do the same. They sacrifice money to look at pictures and read news of the rich and famous in magazines devoted to celebrity watching. If People magazine were a magazine ab