Setting Boundaries
This is a topic that’ s come up a lot recently for me. I run a community of HR consultants called HR Indies and one of the challenges we talk about is how heavy the emotional toll can be for People Professionals. This has been particularly true the last few years as many leave the profession or at least in-house roles following the aftermath of Covid.
When I started out in HR 30 years ago, I remember studying for my professional qualifications and at the start being asked my reasons for getting into HR. Many of us said,“ because I love people.” Actually, I think my reason was,“ because I’ m really nosey curious and want to know what’ s going on!” At the time, as a junior HR Assistant I was naïve about the reality of progressing in the profession and the sorts of work I would end up doing.
Working in HR is not for the faint-hearted. You ' re often the one holding space for others- even when you ' re barely holding it together yourself. Professionally, you have to be the calm in the storm, the voice of reason navigating impossible dilemmas, the mediator in conflict, the person who steps in when everything ' s gone to sh * t. But who do you go to when you need support? For HR professionals the answer is often: no-one and that’ s where problems can set in. As part of giving back to the profession, I regularly mentor people and too often I see them giving everything, getting exhausted and not seeking out help for themselves.
Everyone deserves rest, joy, fun. Our brains are not built to operate at 100mph all of the time. If we sustain too much stress our memory, attention, and emotional regulation is affected and our limbic brain, or the inner“ chimp” takes over. So let’ s all make an effort to set boundaries. Here are some examples:
•“ I wish I could, but that’ s not possible for me right now.”
•“ I’ d love to help, but I can’ t commit to that at the moment.”
•“ I’ m really busy today, if it’ s still urgent at the end of the week, let me know and I’ ll pick it up then.”
This might feel weird to begin with but over time you’ ll notice the freedom it gives you. Understand also, that when you do this you are modelling healthy ways of working to those around you. You are giving others permission to pause, think and breathe. Remember, you’ re not meant to do this alone. Asking for help is a strength and sharing and connecting with others gives you confidence and energy.
Part of the solution is to make sure you set boundaries and this goes for any people management role – not just HR professionals.
Why boundaries matter Boundaries don’ t mean you care less, they mean you’ re careful in how you care. They’ re the invisible fences that protect your time, your peace, and your energy. And in HR- where emotional support is so often something you have to provide to others- those fences are what keep you standing.
And as a final tip, surround yourself with people who will celebrate your wins with you, empathise with your struggles, remind you who you are. That might be colleagues, your mates, your family – just find the ones that inspire you, not drain you.
That’ s why the HR Indies community I set up seven years ago goes from strength to strength – 184 members and growing. Because we’ re not meant to do it on our own. Our hashtags are: # strongertogether and # collaborationwins.
Ruth George- HR Consultant- ruth @ ruthgeorge. com | 07899 920075 © Ruth George HR Consulting. This is not legal advice and is provided for general information only.
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