Listening
We ’ ve all heard that phrase : people don ’ t leave organisations , they leave bad managers . So what is it that makes for a good manager and how do we ensure our managers have those skills ? Is there a ‘ holy grail ’ of people management skills ?
When I meet clients and in particular when I deliver workshops , I ask people what ’ s important to them in the workplace and the first example they often give is being heard . That ’ s because being listened to is a fundamental human need which is why we all went a bit crazy during lockdown and the restrictions of the pandemic ; we craved being heard .
During my workshops we often end up discussing the importance of being heard and a point I always make is that , whilst listening is an incredibly respectful thing to do , it ’ s not necessarily easy . Here ’ s what makes listening a skill to be practised :
• We have two ears and one mouth – we should aim to use them in that ratio ( often easier said than done !)
• Listening in order to understand is tricky – it takes a lot of concentration and is tiring
• Listening effectively is not the same as listening in order to take your turn at speaking ; and
• Listening does not mean you have to agree with everything the other person says
As part of my services , I sometimes help with mediation between two parties and the foundation of that intervention is listening . I ask both parties to sign up to explicit terms connected to listening before we even start a mediation . For example :
• agreeing to listen respectfully and sincerely to try to understand the other person ' s needs and interests ;
• understanding that listening does not mean you are agreeing with what is said ;
• recognising that , even if we do not agree with it , each of us is entitled to our own perspective ; and
• not dwelling on things that did not work in the past , but instead focusing on the future we would like to create .
Alongside effective listening skills , I would propose that feedback skills are the second most important skill for a people manager . But that ’ s a whole separate article !
If you ’ d like to discuss workshops to develop the people skills of managers in your organisation , do get in touch - I ’ d love to help .
“ Most people don ' t listen with the intent to understand . Most people listen with the intent to reply .” Anon .
Ruth George - HR Consultant ruth @ ruthgeorge . com ; 07899 920075 This is not legal advice and is provided for general information only . © Ruth George HR Consulting .
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