Bounce Back In Style 2nd Edition Feb/March/April | Page 13

Bouncing Back To Wholeness

Dr Carol Tomlin

The collapse of a relationship, particularly a
marriage is possibly the most challenging life
experience that one could encounter. Individuals who have gone through the breakup of a
marriage have stated that it can be more traumatic on an emotional level than the death of a
loved one. The authors of this article who have
both experienced divorce, albeit, several years
ago, can attest to the devastation of having a
failed marriage, especially as Christian women.
The primary reason for this piece, is to encourage individuals who have undergone or, are
going through a similar experience to „bounce
back.‟ The authors can bear witness to God‟s
restoring power, hence the purpose of this article. Divorce is not the end but can be the beginning of a new chapter in life with the Lord.

Both authors would like to stress that the disintegration of their marriage in no way diminished their love for the Lord neither did they
blame God for the break up. However, for one of the authors her
faith was greatly tested and she felt unsupported by her local
church, which also contributed to her backsliding, temporarily. For
the other author, the overwhelming feelings of guilt and shame had
actually helped her on a spiritual journey to real faith.

The causes of divorce are often complex and far-reaching. Divorce
can have varied effects on different people. Most individuals feel a
sense of failure; for some it is a sense of loss whilst for others they
become angry and even bitter. Sometimes, not being able to fully
express the range of emotions compounds the situation. Loneliness
can often set in because there may be no outlet to communicate
how one is feeling and the total upheaval as a result of a failed relationship is devastating.

Often, in the church there is insufficient biblical teaching or understanding about divorce; even when there are viable grounds, the
lack of guidelines could make such persons believe they have committed the „cardinal sin.‟ In order to support those going through
marital breakdown and to ensure their spiritual development, great
sensitivity and compassion are needed, as this can be a period
when individuals are vulnerable or susceptible to satanic attack.

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