You may also be seen as shy or quiet, when all along you are just trying to blend into the background so that you do not draw attention to yourself in the hope that no one will ask you a question about YOU or what you think.
It may stem from an early age in your life when you expressed an opinion and where cruelly either made fun of or made to feel as though your belief, culture or opinion was weird, or odd or not the norm. With this you learnt to not speak up or to second guess and question yourself.
I spoke to a friend who told me that as a child they were always told to be quiet whenever they asked a question. So guess what happened to them? They learnt to not speak, this lead to years of passive aggressive behavior, years of not being able to make or keep friends. Simply put years of being frustrated, bitter and angry. Until they made a friend who noticed this and was patient enough to help guide them through the process of dropping the mask and breaking free.
This feeling of having to hide your inner self often leads to isolation, pain and loneliness and you not only hide your inner self but begin to physically hide. You hide by making excuses as to why you can’t go out when invited. You hide by not answering the phone when it rings, if you speak with no one you will not say the ‘wrong’ thing. You hide by avoiding ‘difficult’ conversations that you believe may lead to you having to express an opinion. It leads to you almost being a ‘nodding Nancy’ just nodding and smiling when in a group setting. It is almost used as a defense mechanism because it people do not know you, they can’t hurt you. So your mask is your defense.
Have you ever stopped to access yourself physically without criticism? How is your posture when you walk or when you sit? So you slouch or walk/sit tall? These are indicators to what you think about yourself. Are your trying to be inconspicuous or are you staring the world in the eye ready to take on any challenge? If you are that person hiding behind the mask you have learnt to not be present in the moment, and in doing so you all of your thoughts are focused on you and your inner turmoil, being totally aware of your presence.
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